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OK guyz, here's your chance...

...to let me have it. \"It\" being what you really think. :shock:

I'm in this little group - me n two chix. Yeah, hard to believe, I know; but one of them's my ex - NO interest there, except she can play bass and sing a bit - and the other is a VERy hott, insane ex-alcoholic. Sings like an angel, though... 8) .
ANYway. On to the subject at hand:
The bass player is very novice, though puts her best into it.
The other one is supremely talented, a real natural. Amazing singer, plays acoustic pretty well, and writes great stuff. The problem is this: she's very \"anti-technology\" and \"anti...\" Well, I don't know.
What I do know is this: she doesn't dig electric git'r at all...she wants our little group to be all acoustic git'rs. So when we play, a lot of time I'm doing the same melody she is, except she's doing \"straight\" rhythm, while I \"dress it up\" a bit, just so we're not playing the exact same thing.
There'd be no point in that, except to allow me to stand next to her, ogle her, and listen to her sing, which is worth the price of admission even on a bad day.
She also is completely uninterested in the skill/art of git'r playing; she's a very 3-open-chords type. She can't even do bar chords. Sometimes when a song goes from D to Em, she just plays C instead of Em 'cuz it sounds \"close\" and she can still sing the same melody line.
When I mention that such n such a song goes from D to Em, not C, she rolls her eyes and calls me a \"music nerd\"...not to slam me, but to make that point that such intricacies are not of interest to her. She'd rather just sing, and as long as the chords make the song sound like a song, she's fine.
It's even come up that there are songs we do that she should just sing, and leave the instruments to me and the bass player. She's also a hott front-babe.

So...the question is: should I care? Just play the way they like it, even if it's not quite on the money?
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Comments

  • It is comforting (or uncomforting) to know that I am not alone in problems with bandmates. If your front girl is as good as you say, I'd play the chord(s) of the song the way she wants them played. So if she goes to a C instead of a Em, everyone else in the band should play that C for all its worth and see if it works. If everyone is playing that C and it doesn't work for her, maybe she will see the light and start using the correct Em chord. But, maybe she is right and the C will work for her voice.

    On the covers we play, we constantly transpose the key of the song to fit our lead singer's range. And yes, sometimes we even substitute chords in a song from the original if it works better for us. Although that is rare, sometimes it just works better for both the band and the singer. I don't think anybody in the audience even knows. If it sounds good, nobody cares.

    Everyone has their particular tastes in music and what they want to sing and how they want to play it. Your choice of acoustics will work great for lots of songs but not for others. You limit yourselves. That is a constant problem we have in my current band with an acoustic rhythm, a semi-hollow body Epi, and my bass. We can cover lots of songs, but some songs cry out for two electric solid body guitars. I would like to play some heavy metal songs with our band, but the guys, at this point, will not use guitars required to pull off the sound. Black Sabbath's \"Paranoid\" doesn't sell on an acoustic.

    Don't forget the whole point you are in that group. Wasn't your goal to be standing next to some hott babe? Sounds like you are just where you were working so hard to get. I voted to get them to try to play the correct chords, but it is with the idea that first you try it her way and I would think that either it would work, or not, and then you would have made your point about using the 'correct' chord. Best wishes.
  • As far as your singleness is concerned, let me just say this, and leave it at that: if you're going to let the hot girl call the shots, you have no chance with her. When all she has to do is roll her eyes and call you a nerd to completely negate any valid argument you may have and shut you up, she has all the cards, and she's in control. Make what you want of that - I have no idea what your non-musical intentions are, so it's not a big deal.

    Where playing the song is concerned: that all depends on what your goals are for the band. If your desired outcome is to write and play songs that are electric and contain more than 2 1/2 chords and more than 1 progression, then get the heck out - you're clearly with the wrong group. On the other hand, if you just want to have a good time and check out the hot girl who can't play bar chords, then I don't see a problem. Just do what YOU want to do - that's always been my biggest issues.

    I'm in a band currently (see the videos) post where I'm playing with my old bassist from 44lbs (Juice). He wanted to start a cover band (in 44lbs he had relatively little say as far as music is concerned, except the stuff he wrote). He approached our drummer from 44lbs (Josh), after the breakup, and offered him to play with us (I wasn't in the picture at the time). Josh does not want to play in a cover band, so he declined; moreover, Josh believes that Juice and I are sissies because we're playing (relatively) simple cover songs and not writing original stuff.

    Now, if you listen to 44lbs stuff, especially the MIDI concepts of songs that we never got around to writing, you'll notice some crazy things. It's a very Dream Theater-like writing vibe, though stylistically different: anything goes, do whatever you want, make whatever you come up with work together, and make sure you use every kitchen sink you can get your hands on. So, we had songs that end up being 10 minutes long, with practically unplayable instrumental sections, in odd time signatures, with working titles along the lines of \"bull****-*ss s**t\". There are times when I like to push my limits in this way; there are other times when I just want to play a simple song that I like (or perhaps someone else in the band likes) that I've heard on the radio or another band's album a thousand times. So even with exact same bandmates, the goals and resulting atmosphere can be quite different.

    Your music, your life - your decision. Don't let your bandmates drive your own purpose and direction.
  • I think there is some room for changing a song a little but people should think yes that sounds like the song. Although I voted for playing the song correctly, I agree with gtaus, about everyone going to \"C\" if the singer wants to. Maybe it would be possible to record and play back the song both ways. So she can hear what's really happening in th song.
    Our present worship leader used to skip the more difficult chords and just grab the root while myself or the piano player would play the whole chord. That too may be an option.

    peace
  • You're a rock guitarist, a Rush fan and primarily play electric...the diametric opposite from this chick (I couldn't stay in that band for 10 seconds, hot chick or not, I can't stand country music)...and a C is never a substitute for Em (Am YES, Em no way)...your not a \"music nerd\" for playing the right chord, SHE's an imbecile for playing the wrong chord and refusing to learn the correct chords to a song. If your having fun, stick with it.,(hopefully you get to stand behind her most of the time :twisted: ...) otherwise I think you should find a band that at least plays ROCK
  • \iliace\ wrote:
    ...Your music, your life - your decision. Don't let your bandmates drive your own purpose and direction.

    Great advice I'll take to heart in my own situation. I am putting up with some issues in my current band only because I am still going in the direction I want to go. My goal was to better myself as a musician and learn differnet styles of music (country, folk) than I was comfortable playing (Rock). If the issues were greater than my purpose and goals, I'd have to leave.

    Along those lines, to my friend Shredd, I'll say that although I have been through some tough times with a current bandmate, other musicians have taken notice of my abilities and I have been approached with offers from other musicians. If playing in this group moves you along your purpose and direction, then let it play out. If not, start looking for another group more in line with your goals. Also, some bands evolve over time, others don't. My current band is moving more in the direction I would like to go and that keeps me going. We are not the same band we started out a year ago. Give your current group some time to work out your band's direction. Despite the drama, it's still more fun to be in a band than not. And you actually got a hott chick to look at in your group! I hope you guys work it out. Best wishes.
  • C is never a substitute for Em (Am YES, Em no way)...your not a \"music nerd\" for playing the right chord,

    Anyhow, just to be a music nerd, in the key of C, where C, F, and G are the I, IV, and V chords, respectively, the common minor substitutes are vi, ii, and iii chords, respectively. Thus, Am substitutes for C, Dm substitutes for F, and Em substitutes for G.


    Amazing singer, plays acoustic pretty well, and writes great stuff. The problem is this: she's very \"anti-technology\" and \"anti...\" Well, I don't know

    If she's not playing the right chords, she doesn't play acoustic all that well. My suggestion is that you play rhythm, let her sing and do nothing, or maybe bang a tambourine, and keep your ex on bass.

    On a related note, a local group here that are memebers of my old church just got voted best cover band in a local paper readers' poll. They are 2 older couples. The guys both play acoustic and sing primarily backing vocals, and the ladies are singers and play light percussion, i.e., bang a tambourine. If it works, and people like it, keep it up.

    One final note:
    Black Sabbath's \"Paranoid\" doesn't sell on an acoustic.

    Don't be so sure. I thought the same thing about Layla, but that sure works. Slow it up a little. Try it with a 12 string.
  • Black Sabbath's \"Paranoid\" doesn't sell on an acoustic.

    You must have never heard the Cardigan's version of Sabbath Bloody Sabbath :lol:
  • With a song like Paranoid, I think people here want it loud and electric. To pull off a hard rock electric guitar classic like that on an acoustic is beyond our abilities. But, then again, I don't think we do it justice with our electric guitars either. Come to think of it, maybe I should just say we can't play it good enough to perform it live. A few years ago, I used to play the song with my brother-in-law who is a lead guitarist and we were really tight and it sounded good. However, our lead guitarist in this band plays a semi-hollow body guitar and is more in the country style. He tries to play the full chords on Paranoid instead of banging out the power 5 chord and keeping it short and tight. At least, that is what I think is happening. At any rate, it doesn't work and we still have not gotten to the point where we play the song live. Maybe it will just take a longer time to get there, if ever.

    I have heard Clapton play Layla on acousitic guitar and it was great. But then, that was Clapton. I imagine I'd like anything he played on either electric or acoustic. Both versions were great, both were different.

    I was just agreeing with Shredd in the respect that limiting yourself to acoustic guitars will most likely limit the choice of songs or type of music they will be able to play. Best wishes.
  • edited March 2008
    I only made the Paranoid comment because I've actually been considering putting that into my act on acoustic. You just have to realize it's not going to be the same thing as the electric version. Actually, the further you get away from the electric version, the better it seems to work. But it might just be me. I like the String Quartet versions of Audioslave tunes, for example. I think its cool when someones takes a song out of its familiar element and puts their own spin on it. Anyhow, we're getting away from Shredd's question. How should he handle his two ladies? We should all have such problems.
  • ...Anyhow, we're getting away from Shredd's question. How she he handle his two ladies? We should all have such problems.

    No thanks. I only have one lady in my life and that is more than enough problems for me! Take care.
  • GUYS! A LITTLE FOCUS HERE!!! We're talking about me, remember??? :lol:

    OK, good points and opinions from y'all...'speshly 'blooz, who pointed out that this area of music isn't exactly my alley; I'm just having fun being able to play with others, and being able to simultaneously listen to this bird sing, while ogling her beauty.
    But, like iliace sez, I'm not sure that's enough. It's a toss-up: on the one hand, I get to play with others, maybe even in front of people, and could conceivably get hooked up with other musicians. On the other hand, I'm playing very country-music, female-centric songs, which are fine, but not exactly my focus or favorite. And we're not even playing them \"right\", but rather in a key (always D or G :roll: ) that suits the singer, and in a very 3-chord manner (boring and rarely accurate).
    Now, I realize that often people transpose songs to a key that works for them, or even twiddles the arrangement/s to suit their, or other bandmates', abilities, but frankly, the way they play is a bit boring/monotonous, and often betrays the actual sound of the song.
    The thing is, these chix aren't exactly into \"musicianship\". The bassist is very novice, and while she wants to be better and practices hard, is not exactly in her element. The other one - the uber-hottie with the great skills - is really not into \"musicianship\" as much as she just likes to sing and be the center of attention.
    So that leaves me...I want to play - with, and in front of, people - and meet chix. But I also want to pursue my interests in music and progress in those areas, not in an area I'm indifferent to (country-western...).

    Hence, I ask for opinions and general consensus. Keep 'em coming, I'm benefitting from your perspectives.
    'Course, it'd be easier to straighten out if Shania and Geffen would return my phone calls... :lol:
  • Well as much as it pains me to say it cut the uber-hottie. If she wants to be controlling and tell you how to play and not be out of her element to compensate you then she probably just wants to be the center of attention. I say help the bassist get out of her novice era and then start to find a better singer and move on.

    That or tell the hottie that you and the bassist are out of your comfort spaces and that she needs to join the club and experiment with new things too.

    Hope that helps

    PEACE 8)
  • Well as much as it pains me to say it cut the uber-hottie. If she wants to be controlling and tell you how to play and not be out of her element to compensate you then she probably just wants to be the center of attention. I say help the bassist get out of her novice era and then start to find a better singer and move on.
    That or tell the hottie that you and the bassist are out of your comfort spaces and that she needs to join the club and experiment with new things too.
    That's the basic gist, all right...good reading between the lines, 'cfs!
    Here's the lay of the land: the uber-hottie really IS the center of this situation. My ex and her are friends, and really enjoy hanging out and playing together, no matter what they sound like. I'm not sure the bassist even wants to improve, at least not more than she wants to have fun.
    So it's really me on one side, them on the other. I've been \"putting up\" with it so far 'cuz it's fun to play with people (a rare situation, in my teeny little town) and she really is a GREAT singer.
    But I really think I have little chance of influencing how or what they play, even if I'm part of it. Sort of a \"my way or the highway\" deal. So, while it's fun to play, and hang out with a coupla hott chix...frankly, I don't see a lot of change in the musical direction of this situation. Maybe over time... :roll: ...if I stick it out that long...
  • Hmmm. So you cant even solo? IF thats the case I would get out, because otherwise you are redundant.

    A thing with technology? Far out... the electric guitar is older than the microwave... i bet she uses one of them without complaining about it :wink:
  • According to Shreddy theres no chicks and no rock bands to jam with in his area...so I suggest the \"BUY SHREDD SOME LUGGAGE FUND\"...cuz if it was me, I would MOVE!...(next he'll tell us it's a dry county :shock: and they filter internet porn :shock: :shock: :shock: )
  • There is a saying in the audio industry that a sound system is only as good as it's cheapest component. In other words, if you got a million dollar
    sound system and a five dollar microphone, It's gonna sound like a five dollar microphone. Either you do it her way or it's the highway otherwise you'll never be together musically. If she is consistant, it could work out. And as strange as it may be, sometimes that brings about something new because they know no boundaries. It's just the getting there that's hell. Been there three times, failed twice. Write your own songs and no one will be the wiser. If you have the patience and think it might get you somewhere, Stick it out for awhile, Otherwise bail. If she's a really good singer, you might want to get into where she's comming from even though musically she might not be up to snuff. You could be surprised at what you might learn out of the box, so to speak. God knows how many famous artists there have been that can only play three chords, sing within a very limited range and know nothing about music theory or structure. I guess that's why we call it art.
  • For many months we have been listening to Shredd wish he was in a band and had a hott babe. Just when I thought he got lucky and got both, turns out it wasn't quite like he planned. That sucks.

    Shredd, wasn't this gig with the girls originally a one time gig? If that is the case, I'd just ride it out through the gig and go your seperate ways afterwards if you can't see yourself in a group with them. No need to make yourself miserable. Also, doesn't sound like the girls really want to put much effort into a band. So I have a hard time hearing you get so worked up about it. Keep looking for other musicians that are going in your direction and you will be much happier - even if they don't have a hott babe.

    For what it's worth, I got my position in my current band because the guys saw me out there working with another band. You never know who will be watching you play at that gig(s) with the girls. Just being out there putting in an effort means something to other musicians that may be watching your gig. Someone may find you and want to talk to you about your musical direction. It happens. Best wishes.
  • Well there is something abit contradictory about a guitar player named Shredd, Playing in a acoustical band now ain't there.
  • From a musician perspective, you should get out if you're unhappy. From a personal perspective, hanging around hot chicks helps you hook up with more hot chicks. It's like a vicious circle. If you're in that circle, even by just joining the band, your stock goes up in the eyes of the audience.

    I would stay and just deal with the downside, and enjoy the benefits.
  • The really big question...

    Are you having FUN!!!!
    If not walk away...

    Words to live by..
    \"If it aint fun, don't do it..\"..
  • Thats completely true Tal... if it really is bugging you get out. However if you think you could cope with it for a while hold on and see where it takes you.
  • WOW!!...........dude!...............THATS a pickle :shock:

    depends on your integrity level i suppose...both musically and emotionally.Either way you go,you sell yourself short somewhere :( Is a piece of a$$ worth the aggravation??You know that every wrong chord is gonna rub you the wrong way and get worse as time goes on :wink:

    Personally,....I would be honest with her/them and say \"Hey,i have spent years honing my craft and I am use to a degree of proffessionalism.Sure,call me a nerd,but i don't want my existence defined by the search for mediocrity ...........no matter WHAT i do.So if you want someone to back your vocals without argument.....try a karaoke machine\" :wink:

    the reason she gives you so much guff is most likely an inferiority complex due to the fact you have the knowledge and she doesn't.Too bad because she could REALLY benefit from the experience.

    It may sound dismal but i believe your better off playing with yourself....in your studio,until you can find people to play with that respect your hard earned talents in music :wink:

    best of luck to ya \"Shredd\"
  • \cyclonic\ wrote:
    It may sound dismal but i believe your better off playing with yourself....

    I completely disagree. Playing out is always better than sitting in your room. Maybe somebody will be at a show, and wants to start another band. He comes to your show, and musicians know who the worst and best players are. If you're playing with bad players, the overall sound sucks, but you're the big fish in a small pond. Exposure is key in your position.

    Think about how many people will see you on stage, and how many people will see you in your room.
  • \ednrg\ wrote:
    \cyclonic\ wrote:
    It may sound dismal but i believe your better off playing with yourself....

    I completely disagree. Playing out is always better than sitting in your room. Maybe somebody will be at a show, and wants to start another band. He comes to your show, and musicians know who the worst and best players are. If you're playing with bad players, the overall sound sucks, but you're the big fish in a small pond. Exposure is key in your position.

    Think about how many people will see you on stage, and how many people will see you in your room.

    AND MY POINT IS.........who in their right mind is gonna approach you to play in a band if your group performance just included wrong chords and a lack of proffessionalism...they'll just walk away and tell their friends about how bad the group they saw the night before was. :wink: You have got to set standards for yourself because everyone listening will judge you by your present environment.I have been there.....i went from amateur to semi-pro to damned near pro and then.....I played with drunks for a while and anyone that was decent to play with wouldn't give me the time of day :roll: So i went into management for a few years :?

    Like i said....this is about integrity-how bad do you want to play VS how little do you want to be embarrased.....I have been there and seen the damage and simply said \"I wouldn't\" ................i believe the REAL answer ,in this case,can only come from \"Shredd\"
  • I too, was under the impression that this project was just for this wedding gig. I don't know how soon this wedding is coming up, but if he can't convince her to learn a new chord and use it, I would say he has to suck it up and go with the flow. If other musicains are that sparse in his parts then it would be pretty crappie to bail on her now.

    On ther other hand if this coffee house trio were to continue afterwards, shredd has some soul searching to do. Imho; aside from song writing, get her to put the guitar down for performances. I can understand why it would be hard to walk away from a great set of pipes. And if she is that lovely to stand next to, how much more would it be for the audience to look at! ie repeat pratrons.
  • Well...I wanna thank all youse guyz for weighing in on this. I really appreciate the feedback and different points of view.
    Funny thing is - from my point of view, you're ALL right. This situation can be looked at from several perspectives, and the right answer depends on what angle you're looking from.
    This little project really is just about the wedding gig. That's the only thing we've got lined up, although if it goes great, we might line up something else. Frankly, besides the one that can sing so damn well (and writes songs well too), there's not much musicianship between the two of them. Between that, and the fact that they're so into this sad ol' country music thing, I can't see it developing into much of an ongoing concern. And it seems like that's what most people like to listen to around here. :roll:
    On the other hand, there's some notable upsides: for one, I get to actually PLAY with people, which, as has been noted, is better than playing with yourself. :shock: . It's truly a joy to hear this girl sing, she's really terrific - just not much of a git'r player, nor is the bassist. BUT...I might get the chance to be \"spotted\" by other musicians I might be more interested in playing with, and there sure isn't anything wrong with having a drop-dead beauty on stage with you - it gets EVERYbody noticed. 8)
    As far as my \"personal\" interests go...well, it won't surprise any of you guys that I'd LOOOOVE to get jiggy with this sweetie. I'm not sure I see it happening - she's a \"bit\" younger than I am, and getting attention from men isn't exactly her problem in life. So unless she decides that she's ready for a different kind of guy than she usually goes out with, I'm not really in the running :? . But - as was noted before - hanging around with a hottie can't hurt your chances of meeting other hott ones. So I'll take my chances.

    So...as y'all can see - there's a lot of pros n cons, for either position. Note that the poll is running basically even!
    My gut feeling is to stick it out and play the garbage they wanna play, if for no other reason than to play, \"get out there\" and maybe hook up with other players, and perhaps hook up with either the singing sweetie or one of her hott friends. Or at least a woman who likes me. If there IS such a woman.. :lol:

    So - continue to put forth your thoughts, it's been very educational and gives me a lot to think about. At least until I can get Mutt and Shania to stop over... 8)
  • \ednrg\ wrote:
    ...Playing out is always better than sitting in your room. Maybe somebody will be at a show, and wants to start another band. He comes to your show, and musicians know who the worst and best players are....Exposure is key in your position...Think about how many people will see you on stage, and how many people will see you in your room.

    For as long as I have been reading this forum, Shredd has been looking to get with other musicians to play out live. If this gig is still a one time thing, I think he should just smile, surpress, and get through the show. Backing out of a one-time wedding gig doesn't seem like the thing to do.

    One night I was playing with some guys (not my current band), and the drummer we had backed out the day before the gig. The replacement drummer that our lead singer got was untested. Turns out she was a complete novice and had no idea how to play with a live band. She started and stopped a couple of times during one song and our lead singer walked off the stage acting like a big baby. He left me and the lead guitarist hanging out there on stage with the novice drummer HE brought to the show. Anyway, other musicians there knew what the problem was (the drummer), they lost respect for our lead singer (walking off the stage), and had a lot more respect for me and the lead guitarist because at least we acted professional enough to stick it out through the bitter end. And it was bitter. Sometimes, even a very bad night can be good for you personally. Other musicians watch how you handle the stress and when a band is having a terrible night, the stress can be high.

    So, I encourage Shredd to finish this one time wedding gig he signed up for despite his personal feelings about the girls or the music. It will get him some exposure and maybe some other opportunities with other musicians somewhere else down the line. If he hasn't worked out the musical problems with the girls by the end of that wedding gig, just tell them you can't see your role in that group and leave under better terms. If he absolutely can't do it, bail out early and give the girls time to find someone else. However, I do hope he does see it through the one gig.

    Whatever he decides, I wish Shredd good luck. Take care.
  • I don't think you have anything to loose, or anything to \"fret\" (chuckle) about. You have this already sized up, so it is really, for the time being, a fun time, and nothing more. If it is to become more, that will only be if the \"talent\" decides to take things to the next level. Your effort in this wedding gig, may just help her see there is potential, to consider seriously. Otherwise, just accept it for what it is, and have fun.

    These babes remind me of the folks here where I live. We party, and play music around campfires, Lake Michigan beaches, and Barn Dances. We have some great musicians who prefer to just have fun.
    We have locals here who will play at each others weddings, and even just go out to their truck and grab their guitar and come back into the Bar and light the place on fire...just for the hell of it.

    I converted my old barn into a party Barn, a couple years ago. I put in this white oak dance floor, and throw several Barn dances a year...and hope to do more eventually. In these photos, I hired our local celebrity Country DJ. She is a great Line Dance instructor too...so we had a good time celebrating my Ministers Birthday last year.
    (that's him with the evil eyes on the left) :lol:

    Pic036.jpg
    Pic031.jpg
  • Hey 'tou, good to hear from ya! Where ya been, picketing Dick Cheney's house? (that crook!!!)
    I jokingly say so 'cuz his WY house is right across the river from me, and if WY weren't such a \"red\" state, he'd be burned in effigy in the town square. :evil:

    Anyway...TOTally dig your barn setup. Superkewl, and fun for all.

    So,,,that's what this thing comes down to...have some fun playin' with the girls, do the wedding thing, and see what happens.

    Funny thing is, this chick doesn't need to be reminded of her \"potential\"...she moved to Nashville at 20, made records, did pretty well. It's when she came back to WY and picked up git'r that her act went south - she's a pretty so-so player - but the fact is, she doesn't care. She just does it for fun. If she really cared about \"the music\", she'd let me, or one of the more talented local players, play the git'r for her, so she could sing great and look pretty.
    So I'm just gonna play along - at least til the wedding gig - and see. If it sux, then I'll just tell her I've got other things to do, like vacuum my dog and rotate my potted plants. :twisted:
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