Scientists believe that the little finger will one day, like the tail, disappear, because it serves no purpose.
Same guys who warn of Global Warming, I'm sure. But seriously, what if there is some truth to this? I mean...I type with my first three fingers on both hands, and started to realize, I rarely do ever use my pinky for anything. If it were not for musicians and the British...who else even use the little finger? For that matter, there are allot of musician's not using the little finger as much as they should. Thank God for the British! There is not one I've ever seen that can drink Tea without a pinky finger. Well, maybe this is worry over nothing. Most of the Aliens you see in a movie, whom are much more advanced than us, have just three long fingers, some even with suction cups on them.
Scientists believe that the little finger will one day, like the tail, disappear, because it serves no purpose.
Random thought #1254
Perhaps as the 7 string guitar gains popularity and an 8 string makes an appearance, and the 6 string becomes a novelty such as the ukulele. The pinky will be used more an thus preserved, atleast among musicians DNA?
On the subject of Global Warming, please watch this chilling (not in the cold sense) warning from Lord Christopher Monckton, who was an advisor to Margaret Thatcher.
Why do us british use their little finger may i ask?
I don't really know m8. but you do drive on the left, so you just ain't right.
Anyway, I think it stems from the Colonial days, when the upper class drank tea, and the lower class drank beer. We needed something to sober up with, and decided to drink coffee just to be different, and that's how the Revolution started. (originally it was called \"The Brew Wars\") The Brits kept sticking their little finger out at us, so we adopted the use of our middle finger at that time, again to just be different.
On the subject of Global Warming, please watch this chilling (not in the cold sense) warning from Lord Christopher Monckton, who was an advisor to Margaret Thatcher.
More on Global Warming;
Rick Naczi (great name for this kind of study :roll:) a vice president at Dairy Management Inc., which funds research and promotes dairy products, is working to reduce cow burping, to lower dairy cows' contribution to global warming. Damn Cow burps are adding to Global Warming. :evil:
I just saw the latest on the News today, you should kill a member of your family, your pet dog and cat, and replace them with a chicken. The dog and cats have way too big of a carbon pawprint, and are contributing too much to Global Warming.
Yes...some morons have done an \"exhaustive analysis of the environmental impact of common pets such as cats and dogs.\"
\"Owning a dog really is quite an extravagance, mainly because of the carbon hoofprint of meat,\"
So what's the \"eco-pawprint\" of your pet? (in carbon emissions)
German shepherds: 1.1 hectares, or compared with driving a large SUV for 6,000 miles.
Cats: 0.15ha, slightly less than driving a Volkswagen Golf for 6,000 miles.
Hamsters: 0.014ha (two of them equate to a medium-sized plasma TV).
Goldfish: 0.00034ha (an eco-fin print.. equal to two cellphones).
Seriously, we need to have a chicken for a pet, because they produce eggs, and you can eat the little pecker, before they die.
What............you can't eat \"Spike\" your pet punkrocker Goldfish? This study is flawed. :roll:
But this did give me this random thought...
I'd support a study on the practice of Christmas trees inside the home.
If people ever grabbed a Spruce tree by it's tip top, and bend it all the way down to the ground, then let it go....
would they still want to bring those things into their home and use them as a Christmas tree, after they saw all the stuff that got flung out?
Well, my guess is the Progressives will challenge that very soon. It is time according to them to destroy Christianity in America, and replace it with a more PC, practical and non-offensive religion, like Atheism. First they must legalize drugs, then I think they could pull this off.
E-Gads...I just had another random thought.
All my stupid random thought nonsense, isn't even half as crazy as what is going on in real life. :shock:
This is too stupid. Reminds me of one of my ol' favorite comics of yore, \"Bloom County\", where the nerd decides to go ultra-PC/green, and ends up with all his friends hanging from their feet from the trees to avoid crushing bugs, while he panics: \"WAIT! WAIT! We're inhaling and slaughtering thousands of bacteria with each breath!!!\" :roll:
Every morning I look in the mirror, and I make monkey faces.
This morning I had a random thought...
If a man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times......
Deep in his dimly lit cave of a studio, Manitou sat at his cluttered desk concocting ways to keep the Digitech message boards beleaguered Access database cluttered with nonsense posts over the Christmas holiday. With his post and submit button and a sinister growl \"I'll show these fools, Christmas... Bah Hum something or other!\" As he scribbled in nonsense troll post after troll post and near obscene images on the most joyous day on the calender!
Manitou saw that O'Dannyboy was online, so he unleashed a barrage of troll posts, and one by one O'Dannyboy was given the task to monitor this troll-posting and if he ever so much as complained to Manitou, well he'd be doomed to sit at the computer for almost an eternity (which for some is more than 6 hours)!
...Just as Manitou thought he had finished his dirty deeds a name jumped out off the page like a flashing neon sign... Iliace.. Manitou scowled, spat in disgust and grumbled. \"I'll make your merry very unmerry Mr. Iliace!\"
With fingers, much like sledge hammers, pounding the keyboard the evil old **** sent the hapless Iliace the PM from Hell, ....due to numerous posting violations you've given me, I'm prepared to deluge the message board with posts far exceeding the FCC guidelines and if you ban me, I'll return under 7 proxies, and make a spam attack seem like a blessing in comparison to my Manitou madness. I'll show you, he scowled.
The Incoming Private Message beeped in the ragged XP laptop our hero Iliace was viewing, as Iliace looked at the screen his smile turned to a frown as he threw the laptop to the floor. His hopes for a holiday off were crushed beyond recognition as the lyrics to an old holiday classic danced in his head \"I'll be home for Christmas\"
Iliace knew it was useless to argue and or protest, swallowed his pride and schlepped his way to the Digitech Forum Index Building to help O'Dannyboy monitor and clean up these maddening troll posts. The pair of Mods valiantly scrubbed post after post, but alas, the message board servers were overwhelmed and shut down for the weekend, leaving so many members thinking, maybe Digitech dropped the Workstation message board, as they feared.
Meanwhile, satisfied with a job evilly done Manitou hobbled off to his travel trailer parked behind the dank studio. This home on wheels was nothing short of a rat nest with minimal electricity, running water or, many other creature comforts.
Manitou sat down to his usual dinner, cold pizza (bet you thought it was Gruel) and flat Pepsi. After his dinner the evil old **** drifted off to sleep only to be rudely awakened by a slap in the head.
Jumping from the chair Manitou found himself facing a person, dressed somewhat like Captain Jack Sparrow with an after glow....
...Rubbing his eyes, Manitou managed to squeak out \"Who are you?\"
The glowing dude responded he was a messenger, like AOL, and he was there to warn the miserable troll that he was to be visited by three, really pissed off, Digitech moderator spirits.
Manitou didn't believe the guest at first but didn't dare argue with someone dressed like a Disney character.
\"Expect the first at the sound of but a single G# pinch harmonic\" The guest said.
\"Can I see them all at once?\" Manitou asked quite agitated.
\"Get real dumbass!\" The guest replied \"They will all visit you in their own good time, now get some sleep it's going to be a rough night!\"
The word \"night\" echoed in Manitou's head as Captain Jack faded into the dark...
\"Bah\" Manitou shouted \"It's too damn late for Halloween and I didn't like Pirates of the Caribbean either!\"
With the excitement over Manitou climbed into bed and drifted, yet again, into a fitful sleep...
The blaring of an extremely loud 100w amp piercing G# into unnerving harmonics caused our evil antagonist to jump clear out of his bed and land on the floor.
\"I guess you're the first of the three the pirate spoke of?\" Manitou asked
\"Yeah\" was the reply \"Get up fool and look upon me\"
Manitou did as was commanded and found himself looking at another glowing type person.
\"And you are?\" he asked
\"I'm the pissed off Mod Alberto you annoyed from Christmas past!\" Was the chilling response.
\"Long past?\"
\"No, stupid, yer miserable past... why in Hell do you think I'm here!\"
Manitou stumbled backwards at the tone of the response.
Enough of this stupidity!!\" Barked the Pissed guitarist Mod \"Times fleeting fast and there's a lot of crap to go through!\"
\"But I'll freeze!\" cried Manitou.
\"Too damn bad ya troll, just climb onto the back of this Vintage Crate 4x10 Tweed Cab and hang on!\"
In a flash the two were off with various G-string squealies through many years past until a rough bump brought the old vintage cab to a stop.
\"Recognize this place?\" Manitou was asked
\"W-w-w-why no!\" Manitou stammered
\"Figures, this was the place where you first became a regular Digitech Workstation message board member!\"
The response made our evil anti-hero shiver.
The Pissed Past guitarist Mod grew ever impatient as the two rocketed back toward the present. Most of Manitou's life was a dark blur and really not worth mentioning with the exception of, Lucy, the Rock Star Groupie from Baton Rouge where, Manitou, got his first taste of backstage loving. This just may have been what changed him into the evil old troll **** he is today, then again, maybe not...
Manitou awoke with a start and found he was back in his POS trailer. \"What a nightmare!\" he thought \"I got to quit eating cold Domino's pizza for dinner!\"
A commanding voice remarked \"It was no nightmare, your nightmare has yet to come!!!\"
Manitou ducked under his torn blanket but fear and curiosity made him peak through the large tear to find a John Petrucci type person standing in the room.
\"C'mon let's get going, I have new RP Supermodels to make, and don't want to be distracted by anymore of your troll posts!!\" Petrucci2345 said.
\"Get the **** out of my home or, I'll call the law!\" Manitou screamed as he reached for the phone...
Petrucci2345 just laughed taunting Manitou as he tried to dial 911 on a rotary dial phone only to find the circuit busy.. The situation at hand was getting grave for our anti-hero as visions of being tied to a mic stand with rusty old guitar strings danced in his head.
The John Petrucci type person grabbed Manitou and dragged him out to a real piece of **** Peavey amp.
\"Am I assuming you're the Pissed most recent past-Present DT Mod?\"
\"Well Duh-Huh genius!\" Petrucci2345 replied as he pointed out all the upset DT members who wouldn't be able to enjoy the message board during the holiday's thanks to Manitou and other miserable troll posters like him.
\"OK, OK,!!\" Manitou screamed \"I've seen enough!\"
\"No you haven't!\" Laughed Petrucci2345 as he pushed Manitou off the POS Peavey amp into the path of the most ominous 5150 anyone had ever seen....
\"OH ****!\" Manitou cried out as the Monster amp hurtled towards him......
....As if frozen to the pavement Manitou watched in horror as the big black 5150 roared up to him stopping only inches from his body. The suspense was eating at our anti-hero as the heavy stage-fog lifted and a mysterious Guitar Mod stepped out. All Manitou could see was black boots but yet didn't dare look up, he did guess he was in the presence of the Pissed Future Guitar Mod.
The next thing Manitou felt was being lifted off the ground and shoved into the dark confines of the Stage and all the while the Guitar Mod never made a sound as the long easy guitar riffs eased on into a grey mist which, Manitou, hadn't noticed before.
\"aren't you going to speak?\" Manitou struggled to ask.
A slap in the head was the only response he received and a very cold, hard slap it was too.
\"I guess there's no use in asking where we are going either?\" a much more timid Manitou squeaked out.
The ride hadn't lasted long as the mist dissipated and Manitou sat staring at one of the Digitech's newest guitar processor... the long awaited GNX5.
\"T-t-t-thats friggin' cool!\" He blurted out. \"But why did you bring me here?!\"
The mystery Mod just pointed out the backstage door. Manitou jumped through that door and found to his horror a body laying against the GNX4 he had smashed with a hammer and shattered electrical parts covering the ground. Manitou called to the Mod but received no response.. He tried to climb on to the stage again when the mystery Mod unleashed the most powerful GNX5 sounds ever imagined! Manitou struggled to stay on his feet but found himself being pulled back to the Monster 5150.
\"WHY?\" was the only question he could ask as the mystery Mod shredded off into the grey stage fog mist.
The mist lifted again and Manitou found himself staring at the familiar studio he practiced in but all was not right in the Digitech message board universe as he stepped off the 5150. He took only a few steps and fell to the ground sobbing as he touched a sign with the following saying attached to it: [FOR SALE--SLIGHTLY USED GNX4]
Manitou slowly got up and walked to the rear of the studio only to find the burned out shell of his beloved trailer, tears welled up in his eyes as he turned to the mystery Mod and sobbed \"Why show me all this if I'm a troll ***** like everyone says I am?!?!\"
Getting no response Manitou stood and cried as the big 5150 rumbled off into the growing darkness. \"Wait, you can't leave me here!\" but alas he was all alone with nothing not even his shadow to comfort him...
A loud crash frightened Manitou as he leaped up and found himself still in his bed. \"Holy ****!\" He yelled \"I'm still here, the Pissed Digitech Moderators did it all and didn't wreck a thing!\"
Manitou ran back to his dingy, dim studio, clicked on the brightest light he could find and set to work sending helpful and respectful posts to all the forums he had previously troll posted. His fingers flew like lightning over the keyboard trying to edit every single lousy previous post he had made and get them right.
The responses were positive to his new found attitude, with the exception of one, wishing the old bastard a Merry and a Happy Holiday's. The lone exception caught Manitou's attention \"C'mon Iliace forgive me!\" he muttered as he stared at the blank screen. He was about to press ctrl-alt-delete when the computer beeped with Iliace's return message thanking Manitou for the change of heart.....
Did the crusty old troll poster really have a change of heart? Many around the message board seemed to think so, but there's always next year!!!!
:shock: :? Jeez 'Tou.... do you work or have a job or something??? :roll: ........ the truckie story was good tho!
Your imagination is awsome - especially the part about Lucy the Rock Star Groupie....... :shock:
Awah...sorry Boo...
I'm part of the gubbermuntally screwed,
not working--no work to be had-- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bsC1m4Fb9Hs
I've got too much ...Time on my hands...
...is it any wonder I'm not crazy?
...is it any wonder I'm sane at all?
I'm part of the gubbermuntally screwed,
not working--no work to be had--
Thats no good mate - you blokes are still having a tough time over there huh? I heard on the news that the US economy was supposed to be back on the mend etc....hope things pick up for ya. I can understand why you've turned to piracy
I heard on the news that the US economy was supposed to be back on the mend etc....
Lying b*stards... Trying to BS everyone into thinking it is normal...
Wanna know how an ecoomy is doing? Look at the fastener industry.. if they ain't making fasteners to hold other stuff together ... then nothing is being built!
Just looked at two headlines... one said ... The government lied about the amount of job growth.. then the next said investors flock to the stock market as economy grows! ... ????? Well which is it? ..LMAO
Yep, governments/politicians are full of crap and the lot of em should be chucked in prison. Well how about this for a 'random' idea: Our 'wonderful' Labour government here in Orstraya (australia) is debating whether or not to tax cattle farmers for the carbon/methane emissions from their cattle :shock: :evil: In other words, they're wanting to tax farmers for the FARTS from their cattle......sorry, but WTF is going on in this country at the moment!!!
Australia emits at the most 1% of the worlds emissions, yet we have a government who is prepared to tax the crap out of us unless we reduce emissions. What difference will it make to total world emissions if we reduce a bit, absolutely sweet f*** all! Especially when there are countries like China and India who will continue to pollute and stick the middle finger up to the rest of the world who ask them to cut back on emissions. Hell, the chinese burn old tires to keep themselves warm!!! :shock: :roll: I know that because we sell them to China!
But what makes me mad the most is that people want to tax farmers for their farting cattle in an effort to reduce emissions, yet they are all happy to drive home in their cars and expect to have meat on the table for dinner that night, be able to have lights on, the TV on, the heater on.......sheesh :evil: :evil: This is the sort of BS thats allowed to be aired in public these days. As far as I remember people fart too, so if they are gonna do this with cattle I think it would only be fair if they tax all people for the farts they do too. Wouldn't that cause a stink!! And then they would give tax exemptions to all those poor useless wankers who who scum off the rest of society such as the Abo's because they don't believe in working etc. All the while, people like me who bother to get off their arse, get themselves educated, get a job and work up the ladder to make a bit of coin to feed me family get a great big fist up the arse as we pay huge taxes to support everyone else!
Yep, this country is beautiful and tourists love to come and see it - but politically its seriously f***ed up!! :evil: These idiots in power at the moment came into office with a 200 billion dollar surplus and after a year the country is now 350 billion dollars in the red. All of these f***ers should be sent outside and shot for being useless and un-Australian!
And yes, I come from a cattle property - we're used to be f***ed over by every government, even the politicians we vote for! Thats my random thought for the day! :evil: :roll:
Sorry for the language too guys.....I'm an angry boy!
I say send them to a penal colony.. er wait.. that won't work.. oops!
Ya that cow fart thing has been brought up here too.. I just heard of a book saying the family dog 60-80lbs emmits the same carbon as an SUV WTF! :shock: Buts it's ok to have chickens for pets they don't harm the atmosphere..lmao .. Don't know about yous over there, but we have had below average an record cool temps all year ,yet they still try to shove global warming... random thought ... # 714 How come it wasn't warmer when there was a billion buffalo roaming North America!
Random thought # 714 1/2 Now we know why the wooly mammoth died off!
There's a few variables to think about here regarding the fecal output of a dog......I mean, the dog's diet would be a good place to start. If I was eating what I see a lot of people shoving down their dogs neck, I'd be farting like an SUV too!
We've been getting some pretty hot summers here the last couple of years and global warming is getting blamed for that. Probably more interesting is the lack of rain here in general over the last few years, thats kinda worrying in a country like ours. There's good data to say the amount of air traffic around the world is having a major effect on climate. Apparantly this is a major cause of 'global dimming' which is the reflection of solar radiation back into space from carbon sitting in the atmosphere :?
Buffalo? They'd probably say thats what ended the last ice age!
(sound of flies buzzing)
(and various Northwest Territories sounds) Moooo... PFFFOOOOOT-pooter
(sound of flies gasping)
Mick...ya gotta do something...
awah...crikey
In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. Amen
T-bone-ribs-sirloin-stewcuts-Ahhh-ahhhh-ahhhhhhh-men
EH ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-slobber-slurp
(faint sounds of a didgeridoo in the middle distance)
Random thought # Roar 714! .... Gibson executives must be on Quaaludes!
So I am perusing the gibson site an take a stop in their merchandise page...WHAM! Them self righteous pricks want $80.00 for a frickon T-shirt!
WHAT! May the Lord have mercy on the fool that spends $80.00 for a t-shirt.. :roll: :twisted:
... well... that sure was allot of expert random thought. :?
Got me to thinking... Maybe some of these so-called experts, really are experts.
I just wish we could establish some sort of \"expert barrier,\" that if one went past that,
they would go mad and fling themselves in front of a speeding Train.
Then I think people would be more careful, with proving how smart they are.
Comments
Same guys who warn of Global Warming, I'm sure. But seriously, what if there is some truth to this? I mean...I type with my first three fingers on both hands, and started to realize, I rarely do ever use my pinky for anything. If it were not for musicians and the British...who else even use the little finger? For that matter, there are allot of musician's not using the little finger as much as they should. Thank God for the British! There is not one I've ever seen that can drink Tea without a pinky finger. Well, maybe this is worry over nothing. Most of the Aliens you see in a movie, whom are much more advanced than us, have just three long fingers, some even with suction cups on them.
Random thought #1254
Perhaps as the 7 string guitar gains popularity and an 8 string makes an appearance, and the 6 string becomes a novelty such as the ukulele. The pinky will be used more an thus preserved, atleast among musicians DNA?
I wonder if Obama will outlaw/senser music, such as was the case pre 70's due to anti socialist lyrics!?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMe5dOgbu40
I don't really know m8.
Anyway, I think it stems from the Colonial days, when the upper class drank tea, and the lower class drank beer. We needed something to sober up with, and decided to drink coffee just to be different, and that's how the Revolution started. (originally it was called \"The Brew Wars\") The Brits kept sticking their little finger out at us, so we adopted the use of our middle finger at that time, again to just be different.
8) About time we get that change that was promised an hoped for by all them Hussien Barrak Obama supporters! Yea :!:
BTW has he ever produced a legal U.S. birth certificate to prove he is legally able to hold the office of President of the U.S.A.?..
Random thought #666
Should we refer to Hussien Barrak Obama as Bawana President :?: :roll:
Rick Naczi (great name for this kind of study :roll:) a vice president at Dairy Management Inc., which funds research and promotes dairy products, is working to reduce cow burping, to lower dairy cows' contribution to global warming.
I just saw the latest on the News today, you should kill a member of your family, your pet dog and cat, and replace them with a chicken. The dog and cats have way too big of a carbon pawprint, and are contributing too much to Global Warming.
Yes...some morons have done an \"exhaustive analysis of the environmental impact of common pets such as cats and dogs.\"
\"Owning a dog really is quite an extravagance, mainly because of the carbon hoofprint of meat,\"
So what's the \"eco-pawprint\" of your pet? (in carbon emissions)
German shepherds: 1.1 hectares, or compared with driving a large SUV for 6,000 miles.
Cats: 0.15ha, slightly less than driving a Volkswagen Golf for 6,000 miles.
Hamsters: 0.014ha (two of them equate to a medium-sized plasma TV).
Goldfish: 0.00034ha (an
Seriously, we need to have a chicken for a pet, because they produce eggs, and you can eat the little pecker, before they die.
What............you can't eat \"Spike\" your pet punkrocker Goldfish? This study is flawed. :roll:
But this did give me this random thought...
I'd support a study on the practice of Christmas trees inside the home.
If people ever grabbed a Spruce tree by it's tip top, and bend it all the way down to the ground, then let it go....
would they still want to bring those things into their home and use them as a Christmas tree, after they saw all the stuff that got flung out?
Well, my guess is the Progressives will challenge that very soon. It is time according to them to destroy Christianity in America, and replace it with a more PC, practical and non-offensive religion, like Atheism. First they must legalize drugs, then I think they could pull this off.
E-Gads...I just had another random thought.
All my stupid random thought nonsense, isn't even half as crazy as what is going on in real life. :shock:
This morning I had a random thought...
If a man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
Natural Selection
A Christmas tale with apologies to Mr. Dickens!
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times......
Deep in his dimly lit cave of a studio, Manitou sat at his cluttered desk concocting ways to keep the Digitech message boards beleaguered Access database cluttered with nonsense posts over the Christmas holiday. With his post and submit button and a sinister growl \"I'll show these fools, Christmas... Bah Hum something or other!\" As he scribbled in nonsense troll post after troll post and near obscene images on the most joyous day on the calender!
Manitou saw that O'Dannyboy was online, so he unleashed a barrage of troll posts, and one by one O'Dannyboy was given the task to monitor this troll-posting and if he ever so much as complained to Manitou, well he'd be doomed to sit at the computer for almost an eternity (which for some is more than 6 hours)!
...Just as Manitou thought he had finished his dirty deeds a name jumped out off the page like a flashing neon sign... Iliace.. Manitou scowled, spat in disgust and grumbled. \"I'll make your merry very unmerry Mr. Iliace!\"
With fingers, much like sledge hammers, pounding the keyboard the evil old **** sent the hapless Iliace the PM from Hell, ....due to numerous posting violations you've given me, I'm prepared to deluge the message board with posts far exceeding the FCC guidelines and if you ban me, I'll return under 7 proxies, and make a spam attack seem like a blessing in comparison to my Manitou madness. I'll show you, he scowled.
The Incoming Private Message beeped in the ragged XP laptop our hero Iliace was viewing, as Iliace looked at the screen his smile turned to a frown as he threw the laptop to the floor. His hopes for a holiday off were crushed beyond recognition as the lyrics to an old holiday classic danced in his head \"I'll be home for Christmas\"
Iliace knew it was useless to argue and or protest, swallowed his pride and schlepped his way to the Digitech Forum Index Building to help O'Dannyboy monitor and clean up these maddening troll posts. The pair of Mods valiantly scrubbed post after post, but alas, the message board servers were overwhelmed and shut down for the weekend, leaving so many members thinking, maybe Digitech dropped the Workstation message board, as they feared.
Meanwhile, satisfied with a job evilly done Manitou hobbled off to his travel trailer parked behind the dank studio. This home on wheels was nothing short of a rat nest with minimal electricity, running water or, many other creature comforts.
Manitou sat down to his usual dinner, cold pizza (bet you thought it was Gruel) and flat Pepsi. After his dinner the evil old **** drifted off to sleep only to be rudely awakened by a slap in the head.
Jumping from the chair Manitou found himself facing a person, dressed somewhat like Captain Jack Sparrow with an after glow....
...Rubbing his eyes, Manitou managed to squeak out \"Who are you?\"
The glowing dude responded he was a messenger, like AOL, and he was there to warn the miserable troll that he was to be visited by three, really pissed off, Digitech moderator spirits.
Manitou didn't believe the guest at first but didn't dare argue with someone dressed like a Disney character.
\"Expect the first at the sound of but a single G# pinch harmonic\" The guest said.
\"Can I see them all at once?\" Manitou asked quite agitated.
\"Get real dumbass!\" The guest replied \"They will all visit you in their own good time, now get some sleep it's going to be a rough night!\"
The word \"night\" echoed in Manitou's head as Captain Jack faded into the dark...
\"Bah\" Manitou shouted \"It's too damn late for Halloween and I didn't like Pirates of the Caribbean either!\"
With the excitement over Manitou climbed into bed and drifted, yet again, into a fitful sleep...
The blaring of an extremely loud 100w amp piercing G# into unnerving harmonics caused our evil antagonist to jump clear out of his bed and land on the floor.
\"I guess you're the first of the three the pirate spoke of?\" Manitou asked
\"Yeah\" was the reply \"Get up fool and look upon me\"
Manitou did as was commanded and found himself looking at another glowing type person.
\"And you are?\" he asked
\"I'm the pissed off Mod Alberto you annoyed from Christmas past!\" Was the chilling response.
\"Long past?\"
\"No, stupid, yer miserable past... why in Hell do you think I'm here!\"
Manitou stumbled backwards at the tone of the response.
Enough of this stupidity!!\" Barked the Pissed guitarist Mod \"Times fleeting fast and there's a lot of crap to go through!\"
\"But I'll freeze!\" cried Manitou.
\"Too damn bad ya troll, just climb onto the back of this Vintage Crate 4x10 Tweed Cab and hang on!\"
In a flash the two were off with various G-string squealies through many years past until a rough bump brought the old vintage cab to a stop.
\"Recognize this place?\" Manitou was asked
\"W-w-w-why no!\" Manitou stammered
\"Figures, this was the place where you first became a regular Digitech Workstation message board member!\"
The response made our evil anti-hero shiver.
The Pissed Past guitarist Mod grew ever impatient as the two rocketed back toward the present. Most of Manitou's life was a dark blur and really not worth mentioning with the exception of, Lucy, the Rock Star Groupie from Baton Rouge where, Manitou, got his first taste of backstage loving. This just may have been what changed him into the evil old troll **** he is today, then again, maybe not...
Manitou awoke with a start and found he was back in his POS trailer. \"What a nightmare!\" he thought \"I got to quit eating cold Domino's pizza for dinner!\"
A commanding voice remarked \"It was no nightmare, your nightmare has yet to come!!!\"
Manitou ducked under his torn blanket but fear and curiosity made him peak through the large tear to find a John Petrucci type person standing in the room.
\"C'mon let's get going, I have new RP Supermodels to make, and don't want to be distracted by anymore of your troll posts!!\" Petrucci2345 said.
\"Get the **** out of my home or, I'll call the law!\" Manitou screamed as he reached for the phone...
Petrucci2345 just laughed taunting Manitou as he tried to dial 911 on a rotary dial phone only to find the circuit busy.. The situation at hand was getting grave for our anti-hero as visions of being tied to a mic stand with rusty old guitar strings danced in his head.
The John Petrucci type person grabbed Manitou and dragged him out to a real piece of **** Peavey amp.
\"Am I assuming you're the Pissed most recent past-Present DT Mod?\"
\"Well Duh-Huh genius!\" Petrucci2345 replied as he pointed out all the upset DT members who wouldn't be able to enjoy the message board during the holiday's thanks to Manitou and other miserable troll posters like him.
\"OK, OK,!!\" Manitou screamed \"I've seen enough!\"
\"No you haven't!\" Laughed Petrucci2345 as he pushed Manitou off the POS Peavey amp into the path of the most ominous 5150 anyone had ever seen....
\"OH ****!\" Manitou cried out as the Monster amp hurtled towards him......
....As if frozen to the pavement Manitou watched in horror as the big black 5150 roared up to him stopping only inches from his body. The suspense was eating at our anti-hero as the heavy stage-fog lifted and a mysterious Guitar Mod stepped out. All Manitou could see was black boots but yet didn't dare look up, he did guess he was in the presence of the Pissed Future Guitar Mod.
The next thing Manitou felt was being lifted off the ground and shoved into the dark confines of the Stage and all the while the Guitar Mod never made a sound as the long easy guitar riffs eased on into a grey mist which, Manitou, hadn't noticed before.
\"aren't you going to speak?\" Manitou struggled to ask.
A slap in the head was the only response he received and a very cold, hard slap it was too.
\"I guess there's no use in asking where we are going either?\" a much more timid Manitou squeaked out.
The ride hadn't lasted long as the mist dissipated and Manitou sat staring at one of the Digitech's newest guitar processor... the long awaited GNX5.
\"T-t-t-thats friggin' cool!\" He blurted out. \"But why did you bring me here?!\"
The mystery Mod just pointed out the backstage door. Manitou jumped through that door and found to his horror a body laying against the GNX4 he had smashed with a hammer and shattered electrical parts covering the ground. Manitou called to the Mod but received no response.. He tried to climb on to the stage again when the mystery Mod unleashed the most powerful GNX5 sounds ever imagined! Manitou struggled to stay on his feet but found himself being pulled back to the Monster 5150.
\"WHY?\" was the only question he could ask as the mystery Mod shredded off into the grey stage fog mist.
The mist lifted again and Manitou found himself staring at the familiar studio he practiced in but all was not right in the Digitech message board universe as he stepped off the 5150. He took only a few steps and fell to the ground sobbing as he touched a sign with the following saying attached to it: [FOR SALE--SLIGHTLY USED GNX4]
Manitou slowly got up and walked to the rear of the studio only to find the burned out shell of his beloved trailer, tears welled up in his eyes as he turned to the mystery Mod and sobbed \"Why show me all this if I'm a troll ***** like everyone says I am?!?!\"
Getting no response Manitou stood and cried as the big 5150 rumbled off into the growing darkness. \"Wait, you can't leave me here!\" but alas he was all alone with nothing not even his shadow to comfort him...
A loud crash frightened Manitou as he leaped up and found himself still in his bed. \"Holy ****!\" He yelled \"I'm still here, the Pissed Digitech Moderators did it all and didn't wreck a thing!\"
Manitou ran back to his dingy, dim studio, clicked on the brightest light he could find and set to work sending helpful and respectful posts to all the forums he had previously troll posted. His fingers flew like lightning over the keyboard trying to edit every single lousy previous post he had made and get them right.
The responses were positive to his new found attitude, with the exception of one, wishing the old bastard a Merry and a Happy Holiday's. The lone exception caught Manitou's attention \"C'mon Iliace forgive me!\" he muttered as he stared at the blank screen. He was about to press ctrl-alt-delete when the computer beeped with Iliace's return message thanking Manitou for the change of heart.....
Did the crusty old troll poster really have a change of heart? Many around the message board seemed to think so, but there's always next year!!!!
God bless us, everyone!!! Enjoy your holiday's.
Your imagination is awsome - especially the part about Lucy the Rock Star Groupie....... :shock:
I'm part of the gubbermuntally screwed,
not working--no work to be had--
I've got too much ...Time on my hands...
...is it any wonder I'm not crazy?
...is it any wonder I'm sane at all?
Thats no good mate - you blokes are still having a tough time over there huh? I heard on the news that the US economy was supposed to be back on the mend etc....hope things pick up for ya.
Cool song, haven't heard that for years!
Wanna know how an ecoomy is doing? Look at the fastener industry.. if they ain't making fasteners to hold other stuff together ... then nothing is being built!
Just looked at two headlines... one said ... The government lied about the amount of job growth.. then the next said investors flock to the stock market as economy grows! ... ????? Well which is it? ..LMAO
Random thought # 4 .... WTF!
Australia emits at the most 1% of the worlds emissions, yet we have a government who is prepared to tax the crap out of us unless we reduce emissions. What difference will it make to total world emissions if we reduce a bit, absolutely sweet f*** all! Especially when there are countries like China and India who will continue to pollute and stick the middle finger up to the rest of the world who ask them to cut back on emissions. Hell, the chinese burn old tires to keep themselves warm!!! :shock: :roll: I know that because we sell them to China!
But what makes me mad the most is that people want to tax farmers for their farting cattle in an effort to reduce emissions, yet they are all happy to drive home in their cars and expect to have meat on the table for dinner that night, be able to have lights on, the TV on, the heater on.......sheesh :evil: :evil: This is the sort of BS thats allowed to be aired in public these days. As far as I remember people fart too, so if they are gonna do this with cattle I think it would only be fair if they tax all people for the farts they do too. Wouldn't that cause a stink!! And then they would give tax exemptions to all those poor useless wankers who who scum off the rest of society such as the Abo's because they don't believe in working etc. All the while, people like me who bother to get off their arse, get themselves educated, get a job and work up the ladder to make a bit of coin to feed me family get a great big fist up the arse as we pay huge taxes to support everyone else!
Yep, this country is beautiful and tourists love to come and see it - but politically its seriously f***ed up!! :evil: These idiots in power at the moment came into office with a 200 billion dollar surplus and after a year the country is now 350 billion dollars in the red. All of these f***ers should be sent outside and shot for being useless and un-Australian!
And yes, I come from a cattle property - we're used to be f***ed over by every government, even the politicians we vote for! Thats my random thought for the day! :evil: :roll:
Sorry for the language too guys.....I'm an angry boy!
Ya that cow fart thing has been brought up here too.. I just heard of a book saying the family dog 60-80lbs emmits the same carbon as an SUV WTF! :shock: Buts it's ok to have chickens for pets they don't harm the atmosphere..lmao .. Don't know about yous over there, but we have had below average an record cool temps all year ,yet they still try to shove global warming... random thought ... # 714 How come it wasn't warmer when there was a billion buffalo roaming North America!
Random thought # 714 1/2 Now we know why the wooly mammoth died off!
We've been getting some pretty hot summers here the last couple of years and global warming is getting blamed for that. Probably more interesting is the lack of rain here in general over the last few years, thats kinda worrying in a country like ours. There's good data to say the amount of air traffic around the world is having a major effect on climate. Apparantly this is a major cause of 'global dimming' which is the reflection of solar radiation back into space from carbon sitting in the atmosphere :?
Buffalo? They'd probably say thats what ended the last ice age!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Bison
Hahaha...that's notta Buffalo...
...THIS...isa Buffalo......
(sound of flies buzzing)
(and various Northwest Territories sounds)
Moooo... PFFFOOOOOT-pooter
(sound of flies gasping)
Mick...ya gotta do something...
awah...crikey
In nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti. Amen
T-bone-ribs-sirloin-stewcuts-Ahhh-ahhhh-ahhhhhhh-men
EH ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh-slobber-slurp
(faint sounds of a didgeridoo in the middle distance)
So I am perusing the gibson site an take a stop in their merchandise page...WHAM! Them self righteous pricks want $80.00 for a frickon T-shirt!
WHAT! May the Lord have mercy on the fool that spends $80.00 for a t-shirt.. :roll: :twisted:
Hmm, interesting points 'tou, maybe these quotes are an answer:
Nothing in the world is more dangerous than a sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.
Author: Martin Luther King, Jr.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
Author: Albert Einstein
We keep, in science, getting a more and more sophisticated view of our essential ignorance.
Author: Warren Weaver
You can be sincere and still be stupid.
Author: Charles F. Kettering
You can swim all day in the Sea of Knowledge and still come out completely dry. Most people do.
Author: Norman Juster
Got me to thinking... Maybe some of these so-called experts, really are experts.
I just wish we could establish some sort of \"expert barrier,\" that if one went past that,
they would go mad and fling themselves in front of a speeding Train.
Then I think people would be more careful, with proving how smart they are.