How to get honest feedback from your wife?
OK, so our lead singer told us at our last practice that he wants the other band members to start working on singing lead vocals on a song or two so that he does not have to cover the entire night himself. He feels that would strengthen our band and give him more flexibility on his performance. I already sing backup on about half the songs, but understand that he really wants us to grow vocally. And some nights he might not be in good voice and would really need us to step up to the mic.
So, as my first song, I have been practicing \"Just What I Needed\" by the Cars at home in my studio, playing my bass guitar along with a karaoke backing track. After a few days of practice, I ask my wife how I sound. \"Good,\" she says. Alright, I say to her again that I really want her honest opinion on how well I sing the song. \"It was just fine,\" she says. Still not convinced, I tell her that I am supposed to sing lead vocal on that song at an upcoming gig with the band. She replies, \"Oh, then you need more practice.\"
So, as my first song, I have been practicing \"Just What I Needed\" by the Cars at home in my studio, playing my bass guitar along with a karaoke backing track. After a few days of practice, I ask my wife how I sound. \"Good,\" she says. Alright, I say to her again that I really want her honest opinion on how well I sing the song. \"It was just fine,\" she says. Still not convinced, I tell her that I am supposed to sing lead vocal on that song at an upcoming gig with the band. She replies, \"Oh, then you need more practice.\"
Comments
I think singing like any instrument is subjective. From watching American Idol...I am amazed at how many people actually believe they are good at singing, and even their family or friends believe they are good as well.
Then you hear the judges all disagree on what is good or bad. Pitch problems, or singing songs that are just not \"right\" choices for you seem to be the biggest thumbs down.
Anyway, I think anyone close to you is not going to be able to give you good feedback...and I'm amazed at how many people judge their own effort as good.
I see when someone isn't technically good, but the music comes from within, the audiance also \"feels\" the music, and genuine soul trumps everything else.
I would suggest you ask another musician to assess your damage...but take any criticism as guidelines. Family and friends are just too close, and offering criticism from them kinda puts them in an uncomfortable position.
J/K. :twisted:
I think whether she can give a useful opinion depends a lot on whether she has any genuine interest in music/YOUR music, and if she has a good ear for it, and if she has \"good taste\".
For your part, I'd guess the thing for you to do it convey to her that you don't want \"fine\", \"good\"...you want an actual critique based on what she'd think if she was at a club and heard that very thing. Would she like it, applaud, or use it as an excuse to go to the ladies', to get away from the Guido trying to buy her drinks and find out if she wears underwear??? :shock:
It don't exist..
If you can't find anybody, you'll really find out when you play the gig..LOL..
(In the end though, it doesn't matter..If you think it sounds cool, go for it..)..
She used to not say too much but the guys asked her and other sig others of theirs to be serious and let it all out. She bruised a few ego's especially our former vocalist who had many- OFF american idol days.
The guys didn't let the girls watch the videos of our shows for a long time unless we had a chance to edit them :twisted:
Taus- you should practice several time before you ask her thoughts :idea:
I have to go with the others, honest opinions from imediate family usually don't happen! IMHO I have to say you know! Your in a working band, have the capability to record yourself. What does your semi professional ears tell ya when you hear yourself? Strickly talking covers here! Would you roll your eyes if were sitting in a bar listening to the vox? Originals imo would be a whole different ball game.
Post a tune of you singing taus! We'll give you an honest opinion! :!: :twisted:
Feels that it would strengthen the band and give him more flexibility???? WTF!!! :!: Only if everyone CAN sing. And if they could he probably wouldn't be there in the first place. Are there physical/medical issues prompting this request? Looking for a booking agent to broaden your market and he comes up with this?
Sorry taus if this is coming out harsh, perhaps there is more that hasn't been mentioned. But to me it almost sounds like he is getting the band shored up before he departs. ( hey if I get these guys singing the songs atleast they might be able to fullfill their comittments, till they find a front man) JMO
I remember the first time she ever saw me play - it was one of my then-band's first performances, and lots of people were coming up to us (me included) with extravagant compliments.
I asked my girl, \"so... what'd you think?\" She said, \"Eh.... you're alright I guess.\" Which was more in line of how I felt about the performance.
Likewise, she will tear our original compositions to shreds when necessary. And provide good feedback, too... such as, the organ sounds doesn't fit with the rest of the song, the guitar riff should echo the lead vocal more, bass line sounds sloppy, etc whatever is warranted.
So I suppose it depends on the person.
Here's my two cents;
Your wife was responding initially, just like us guys respond when wifey or the significant other asks, \" Does this ______ make my butt look big?\" or, \"How does this look on me?\" responding with words such as \"fine\" \"or \"good\", us really us saying that we're busy doing something else and unless you look like a bag lady, I'm good with whatever you're wearing. Except when it is time to show wifey off to your friends, in which case, we become a little more interested in what she's wearing.
I think your wife had the same reaction when she found out that you intended to sing lead at the nightclub.....which got you the honest repsonse.
Our band has the same issues, the lead singer does not want to do the whole night so myself and the lead guitarist have been taking some tunes, bit by bit. That Cars song is a tougher one to sing, IMO, its kinda high, unless you are comfortable in that register. I would say find songs that fit your natural voice first and are easy to sing. Some tunes that we do that are lower and are easier to pull off might be:
Born To Be Wild
All Right Now
Brown Sugar
Born To Run
Takin Care of Business
Tush
Hard To Handle
Keep Your Hands To Yourself
etc. I think you get the drift.
Good Luck in your new job as lead singer,
I do plan on recording myself and listening back to the recording. After all, I have a GNX4 which should make it a no brainer. Also, I can give the file to our lead singer and he can probably offer some real advice. Look, we are not looking to sing as good as our lead vocalist, we just need to come up with a few songs to offer up if he needs a break. We played both Friday and Saturday night a couple weeks ago and I think he felt the strain after singing about 80-90 songs as best as he could. I don't think he has any intention on leaving the band, he just thinks we would do better with other band members singing an occassional song or two. Actually, I agree with him in that respect for a number of reasons.
JimiV, good call on the Cars tune. The chorus hits my upper range limit and that is what I am working on. Can I hit the notes? Yes, but I'm not too strong there yet. Thanks for the suggestions on some of the other songs in lower ranges that may be easier to sing. I'll look at them too. Any more suggestions as to song selection always welcome. I just load up the karaoke files and try them out. We have learned so many songs and later dropped them for one reason or another, that it no longer bothers me if a song does not work out. There are lots of great songs, we just need to find the ones that fit our vocal range/style and that people respond to.
Also, my singing is not terrible. I am the main backup/harmony vocalist of the group. Singing lead vocal is not my ambition, but I'm willing to try it out if I can get a song(s) that works. Also, I have been singing in school and church choirs since about 1975, so I can actually be somewhat of a honest judge of my own singing. But I error on the side of thinking my singing is not good enough, even when others tell me it's good. I know that performing a song is more than just singing good. So I am out of my comfort zone on this whole lead vocalist concept. Also, it takes a certain personality to pull off a good lead vocalist spot. I'm just trying to ramp up my ability.
I was watching ZZ Top perform a concert just last week on PBS, that Austin City Limits or whatever its called, and that is an example that says what I'm trying to get accross. The singing is not great, but it comes from deep inside, and it's not something fake.
So, more than anything, I hope you find the music that suits you.
(ZZ Top)
\"TV Dinners...I even like the chicken, if the sauce ain't too blue\"
i always recorded my practices because there is no greater critic than yourself and the embarrassment doesn't last as long
My voice has always been good enough for choir singing with others, but stepping out on lead vocals is a different world that I am not comfortable with at this point. If I was in an audition for American Idol, I'd be booted. But, hey, at least I know my limitations. I sound better when the guitars are louder and the drums are banging hard. Maybe that's where I need to start.....
Lately I've been singing songs I want to take to an open mic. These are tunes that the songbird used to sing, and when I sing them, I don't so much listen to myself as do I hear HER in my head, how she sang them. I can't say why, but I can say that for some reason, I sing them better like that. BOY do I miss her...she sings like an angel. I miss her museum-quality chest, too... :oops:
Anyway, about 6 years ago I got a really bad viral infection in my chest and ending up coughing up blood. Actually, I threw up blood it was so bad. And it really hurt. I lost my voice for about 3 months and could not talk at all. Slowly I got my speech back but still to this day my voice will crack like a teenager if I stress it out. I basically gave up any ideas of singing ever again. But being in this band, singing backup, my voice is getting stronger, and better, and I have better control of the voice cracking. I still don't sound as good as I did back in the day, but I am improving.
The GNX4 is great for getting down some quick recordings of me singing along with the backing track. I honestly thought I was doing better than what the recording showed me. I guess I still have control issues with my vocal chords. I hear the notes in my head, but that is not what always comes out. If I get more serious on this singing lead vocal on a few songs, I'll probably end up having to get a vocal coach who can either get me to where I need to go, or tell me I'd be better off just singing backup like I am. Back in college, I did take vocal lessons from a professional singer and really learned alot. My singing really improved at that time. I just don't know if I will ever get to that point again after having ripped up my vocal chords.
I really like a good female vocalist and have talked to the guys about adding a female vocalist who can also play the keyboards. There is just so much more we could do with a female voice in the band and so many songs that would sound better with certain licks on the keyboard instead of our lead guitarist trying to play the keyboard part on his guitar. For a number of reasons, the other guys keep rejecting that idea.
Shredd, you had me all exicted about your \"almost gig\" with the songbird. Any chance you got something new to look forward to in terms of playing/singing with a group? I think you need to get out there and have some fun with other musicians. Are you working on anything?
And of course now I live pretty far away from her and it's even less likely that I'll play with her. Even when I lived ten minutes from her, I couldn't get her to commit to practice. :roll:
I now live in a town even smaller than the last, so even though music is more popular here, there's not a lot of players, and even fewer that have the time or interest to collaborate. An occasional jam is the best I can hope for. I did meet a phenomenal bass player here, but he'll be moving back to AZ this spring. :?
There's only one place in the whole town that does open mic. Sheesh.
Anyway...being that you're in a working band and I must live vicariously through your experiences, I'd vote for the female vocalist/KB player. I agree that a female voice and KB parts would add a lot to your sound and repertoire. I s'pose it'd make it one player harder to keep practice times and it's oe more person to pay, but I'd bet it'd improve the band.
Especially if she was super-hott and adored me. :twisted:
Plus, she can hook me up with her cute single friends. 8)
I guess bottom line is, try to sneak attack her--don't let her know its you- to get as honest critisism as you can.
Of course, you can always post it here and let forum readers give you opinions.
1) Have her play and sing with me and the guys on friday nights
2) Give *her* a little bit of constructive advice
3) Watch the \"honest feedback\" floodgates open
Actually it's working out ok so far. She's luckily got a voice that's a little sweeter than Yoko Ono, but can't play keys \"as well\" as Linda McCartney did. On the other hand, she's learning a lot about the process of making songs, she's getting better at singing and playing, and her feedback is becoming more meaningful. And I get to spend more time with her which is fine with me.
-Rf.