Would you let me date YOUR daughter/sister/etc?
OK, I'm having a little crisis here. Am I making too much of this??
I'm at Open Mic nite at a local place. There's a duo - girl singing, guy playing/singing - and the girl had a terrific voice, and right in the range I need to wrap up this country-chick song I'm doing.
So I approach her after her set, introduced myself, and asked if she'd be interested in putting some vocals to this song I'd been working on. She seemed pretty enthusiastic about it, although her friend was looking at me like I'd offered to cut her head off and stuff her in my trunk. :evil:
I assured her I was a local and I wasn't some music producer looking to exploit her abilities...I just play for fun. She asked if she could bring a friend (probably to keep from being stuffed into a trunk :roll: ), and I said sure.
So, she hasn't returned any messages (she gave me an email address, no phone #). It's looking to me like while she'd gladly sing the tune, she doesn't trust me enough to do it (or else a friend convinced her not to).
Now. I'm sure you all think I'm this leering lecherous scag who'd jump a sheep if it looked at me right. In fact, I'm a very normal human, and not a particularly threatening one at that. So why is it that this singer girl disappeared?!? :evil:
In a related story: my ex-girlfriend still lives in the same town I do, even after 5 years apart. She's a hockey fan like I am - and yet in something like 10 years she's never seen me play, despite always saying she means to, even now. So next weekend, she's coming to my game - to watch the OTHER team play. What gives?!? :x
I'm at Open Mic nite at a local place. There's a duo - girl singing, guy playing/singing - and the girl had a terrific voice, and right in the range I need to wrap up this country-chick song I'm doing.
So I approach her after her set, introduced myself, and asked if she'd be interested in putting some vocals to this song I'd been working on. She seemed pretty enthusiastic about it, although her friend was looking at me like I'd offered to cut her head off and stuff her in my trunk. :evil:
I assured her I was a local and I wasn't some music producer looking to exploit her abilities...I just play for fun. She asked if she could bring a friend (probably to keep from being stuffed into a trunk :roll: ), and I said sure.
So, she hasn't returned any messages (she gave me an email address, no phone #). It's looking to me like while she'd gladly sing the tune, she doesn't trust me enough to do it (or else a friend convinced her not to).
Now. I'm sure you all think I'm this leering lecherous scag who'd jump a sheep if it looked at me right. In fact, I'm a very normal human, and not a particularly threatening one at that. So why is it that this singer girl disappeared?!? :evil:
In a related story: my ex-girlfriend still lives in the same town I do, even after 5 years apart. She's a hockey fan like I am - and yet in something like 10 years she's never seen me play, despite always saying she means to, even now. So next weekend, she's coming to my game - to watch the OTHER team play. What gives?!? :x
Comments
Two pieces of advice;
1.) Send an mp3 of the song to the girls email address, and see what happens, if she responds walk softly, perhaps offering to meet somewhere neutral, or see if she'll do the track somewhere else and send it to you to mix.
2.) When your ex shows up at the rink, go up to the best looking woman you can find, and talk to her briefly, ask her a question (like if she knows if they have a sharpening machine onsite, or what time it is), and then non chalauntly, look over at your ex and smile as if you've moved up not out :P
I hope this helps Bro'
Peace,
Dobb.
Meanwhile, the sitch with the ex - tempting as that sounds, ain't much chance of it - for one, women never come to the arena for hockey games, unless it's the husbands' game and he has the only family car.
Plus, she wouldn't be fooled for an instant - she lives here too and knows what the dating scene is like. And yet she - a 6-foot blond - can get jiggy whenever she wants, just by saying \"yes\"...while I have women suspecting me of trunk-stuffing. It's just not fair. :evil:
Next time you head out for for open mic night, you might wanna try the ol' cucumber in the pants trick, spinal tap style
Dobb.
It's either that, or learn to play my git'r...
\"Come, love, pet my armadillo...\"
as for the actual question of me letting u date my sister or daughter
No mainly cause I have neither sorry
Sorry
PEACE 8)
My suggestion (and perhaps correction) is to leave her intrigued. You want to give off an impression, in mild terms, that (1) you have an interesting and worthwhile project going on - don't tell her you're a small-time local, but don't make up lies either; (2) she has a decent voice, but then again, so do many others - you will give her a shot, but it's your call whether it's working out or not; and (3) that you're potentially romantically interested in her, but not desperate because she's not the only woman in the world - insinuate that possibility, never underplay it, ignore it, or overstate it. She'll do for your project, but on the flipside, your project is worth making a good effort for, and you're not going to put up with flakes and uncertainty. You want someone with confidence to do it, so if she don't got that, you don't need her.
Also as a suggestion for the future, become friends with the guy friend/bandmate first. If you have his approval, she'll feel that much more comfortable around you, plus she'll know that you're a cool person who's worth dealing with. Plus, seeing you in a friendly conversation with someone she knows and trusts will further her intrigue, while approaching her directly when she's not engaged is a sure-fire way to set off her sexual defense mechanism.
With ex's, I say forget it. My personal philosophy, but they're not useful for any more than a casual swing. After all, if she's your ex and you're hers, there must be some reasons you're not still together.
My 2 cents.
And frankly, as much as I want a good voice singing on my tune, it's not like I'm under contract for an album or anything...this is all just for fun, and to convince myself I have more ability than changing git'r strings. So I can have anyone sing this, if they have the right voice...it just seems like a good opportunity, walking in on a good singer for a song I'm doing right at the moment...but if she doesn't want to, for any reason (including thinking I might be a murderous psychopath), than, so be it. I sure don't need to chase a girl around just to sing a song, let alone for a date. I've got a pretty low tolerance for game-playin', \"I'm hard-to-get\" women. God, grant me a normal, low-maintenance woman for a change. If there is such a thing...
As far as gmail pics - I didn't even know there was a pic attached to my gmail. Just goes to show ya how Google and Microsoft and Yahoo are crawling up your bu++ without your even knowing it. :shock: But Thanks...as you can see, I'm really not a nut-case. I just can't seem to meet any women who like me enough to date me. :evil:
I played in a trio with various female singers for years and years over here in Oz, and we always had people asking the chick to \"please sing here and there\"' and \"please play at our party\"' and \"please let me introduce you to my agent friend\", etc. etc. etc.
What I'm tryin to say is (and agree with the above posters) ... it's maybe just not the right situation to ask that sort of \"favour\" ??.. I don't blame you for trying though.
Maybe??... if you are really keen to get a female singer to record the track, you could advertise in the local press for a volunteer ?
I actually know a young female singer here, that might ...repeat \"MIGHT\" take on the challenge ?... Maybe post the song somewhere and i'll get her to check it out for you ? (hey i owe you a favour after that great job you did on \"if patience was pain\") If she likes the idea ? maybe i could record her raw vocal track and email it back to you ? I'd be happy to, if that suits you?...(no probs if not your cup of tea of course)
P.S. As i may have told you previously ... You can have my ex-wife....(chuckling to myself) Should i FED-EX my ex-wifes head first or the trunk .... Bwaaaa haaa haaa ..... :P :P :P
Iliace feel free to delete this if there's a chance the humour in my last sentence was in poor taste...lol :shock: .... p.s.s. she ain't never gonna check this page... lol
Anyway - thanks for looking out for a chick singer for me. I don't know if I'd rip an MP3 of my tune for a girl who \"miiiiight\" wanna sing it...unless she's willing to discuss it in the hot tub.
So...do I have to pay a surcharge for FedEx'g your ex in one piece? I'd be a lot more interested in her if I didn't have to keep her in the fridge...
Does she know your screen name here??? he he
Those are tell tale signs and red flags for them. As much as I've been in clubs and events through the years the basics don't change much. It's all appearance first then see what happens. Usually the approach is mistaken in a defensive thought.
Your legit approach was mistaken for something other than that. I see some local female vocalists when making demos and are just cautious about being alone. Many come with a friend to cut tracks, re-takes, or anything that adds to a more secure situation.
It's like some these days that can't go to dentist alone. The world has its share of crazies as they say. It's as normal as any reaction so don't take it too personal or \"being profiled\" . To them, they are being \"street smart\".
I'd imagine you would suggest any daughter or sister to not go it alone and not trust so easily too.
It's all about their impression they receive. We did auditions for female vocalists and went through 40-50 in a week. Classified's phone calls and a common meeting place was still not enough to wrongly suggest \"what's going on here really.\" Many of these gals showed up with BLUTO by their side. Some were in the biz and knew how to handle themselves.
Trust me.. they dressed the part! No gal was in non makeup with rollers in their hair. They wanted the job and knew they had to compete. The band mates jaws dropping and eyes bulging out were just the exact NON VERBAL messages they were looking for... and received.
I preferred the best vocally, but in the end the compromise of school girl look and cleavage won the vote. Prob was, we wasted 8 months on this chic who was late to rehearsals, canceled rehearsals, and eventually found out she was bi-polar , medicine cab in her purse type.
The one I wanted went to NYC and tried out for Broadway and got in. She was cute, but an excellent performer and very professional in mannerism. The guys all regretted their pick.
But yes, some get spooked, some are more outgoing, some are also afraid of a studio since there is much more to criticize. As many demo's as we did with psycho chic singers.. you don't want that either.
But I was really amused by the story of g's bandmates taking on the schoolgirl hottie with the cleavage...now, that can add a LOT to a singer's stage presence, IF SHE'S ON THE STAGE!! Sorry to hear she flaked out on ya, but even more sorry that the good one got away...though clearly it was a success for her.
Now, when I approached this singer, it was pretty casual...an open mic at an easy-going local place. I approached her in a friendly manner, among her friends, and asked her without any pressure or promises, just an offer to sing a song. I'd just played in my hockey game (a 5-0 win, my first shutout of the year - thank you, thank you... 8) ), but I was showered, hair brushed, clean clothes. So I can't quite figure why she'd have gotten so spooked. But, like Iliace sez, she probably thought I was an ax-murderer and that I'd cleave her head like a grape on the spot if she said \"not interested\". :roll:
I'm sure she thought it was a \"line\", but I tried to be really up-front and not make it seem like a come-on, without making myself look like a music producer/agent scammer either. I guess my amazing interpersonal skills :roll: weren't at their best that night, eh?
Funny thing is...this wan't even for a job. I told her the song I was doing was very simple, it'd probably take no time at all to do her tracks, and when she asked if she could bring a friend, I said sure and didn't even ask who she was bringing. I knew why she wanted to, but apparently it wasn't enough. Still haven't heard from her and I'm writing it off. If I see her out singing again, I'll say hi, but I won't bring it up again...
That said - I STILL want you guyz to hook me up with your wife's cutest single friend... 8)
That approach you gave (to them) is similar to the \" you otta be in pictures\"
There's a local music shop here and the guy running it also does photography there. He's had the police called several times since drivers going by often see flashing late at night from the building. Kind of strange for a Music store to have that after hrs, so they report it. Cops come in and ask the gal's if everything is ok. They say \" ummm yea, it's a photo-shoot\"
I love his biz card. It's got the music store and offers pro photography and portfolios for models !
He takes shots for local bands at clubs all the time and that's where he gets most of his modeling clients. No weddings. He says why do weddings when I can do this!!
I've watched his approach and it's amazing how many gals just say OK .. when are you available? He said he has never yet had a model that came out with somebody else. Those shots are personal and they seem to be more private about it.
Hell I don't know, women confuse me and always have, always will !
join the party!
Not for her, anyway...
You were C-blocked by the ugly friend....the age old dilema. On a side note, are you sure that she doesn't \"play for the other team\" (I'm not talking about your girlfriend)? She may just think that you want a date, and the singing is just a ploy. I would definitely send her an mp3 or your song. This may validate the request to sing on it.
But clearly, my whole effort was poorly planned, executed, or both. I don't s'pose I ever had a chance of her getting into it.
BUT...I did get an email from her, nearly a week after, with the \"sorry I didn't get back to you sooner, maybe another time\" kiss-off. I might send her an MP3 of the song when it's all done, so she can see I actually do play/record and wasn't just looking for body parts. But I don't think it'll make any difference... :roll:
If you think any woman doesn't think this, you're deluding yourself. You might as well change your approach. Don't play it like \"I'm not after your pantaloons\", but instead \"I'm after some pantaloons, just not yours.\"
I'm not really saying anything new...
And I've never heard Ilia complain about not gettin any....
And don't worry, I'll never get close enough to Jersey to walk your dog, let alone date anyone you know. :shock:
(Never ask the question you don't want the answer to) :roll:
This 'quest' you're on has gotta stop mate. The harder you search, the more chance of rejection and then you take it out on yourself (start doubting yourself) more and more. This you don't need, especially leading up to christmas cause you feel lonelier than ever..not good!
Thats how it happened for me, all the sudden she was there!
Forget about the ex, don't give her any attention/reaction at all - they thrive on it and they love twisting the knife by seeing you suffer. :evil: Once again, its all about respecting you.
As for the singer chick, find someone else. Don't let her mess with you buddy. There are plenty of others once you scratch under the surface. Mind you, for all the chicks I've backed on tours, I think I've only met 3 who were modest about their ability and just loved singing for the sake of good music. The rest were so full of themselves it wasn't funny....and they couldn't sing much anyhow! :roll:
Also, if you have 'small town syndrome' affecting your love life, have you thought about moving?? :? Don't worry, my missus has plenty of available hot 25-35yr old friends (usually) and they always complain how hard it is to find a decent bloke. 8) Book an air ticket buddy! :P