Oh lawdy...just when I thought I was gonna have a coupla months without the family around, I find out they're laeving for a few weeks, coming back 10/1, then leaving again for a few more weeks, then back. Oof. Transitioning from their absense to their presense and v/v is always tough, now it's happening every few weeks. :shock: :? :evil:
The sense I get is that I can keep this job as long as I'm willing to put up with the crapola it comes with. That's the real issue...I sat down the other night once I'd cooled a bit and wrote out some pro's and con's about leaving or staying...surprisingly, it's pretty even. :shock:
So I might still jump ship at years' end, though I'd MUCH rather they fired me. BIG severance compensation. I guess I'll just haveta see how it goes.
But I sure want a dog. Trust me, this is relevant.
So...unless one of you guys can get me a job as Jenn's swimsuit consultant, I'm on the fence here... :?
...The sense I get is that I can keep this job as long as I'm willing to put up with the crapola it comes with. That's the real issue...I sat down the other night once I'd cooled a bit and wrote out some pro's and con's about leaving or staying...surprisingly, it's pretty even. :shock:...
Every job has \"crapola\" that comes with it. However, there are standards of conduct in the way employers must treat their employees. If you feel they are crossing that line in order to force you to quit, I would suggest going to your local employment service center and talking to a counselor about your specific circumstances. In Minnesota, where I live, there are employee rights and responsibilities which are defined in writing. If your employer is crossing the line in your state, you may have rights you are not aware of at present. It's best to know where you stand BEFORE you quit or are fired. Also, you need to give yourself time to document any violations of your rights.
My uncle worked for a large department store chain for 20+ years. A few years from retirement, they decided to try to force him out by giving him his first ever poor annual evaluation and a transfer to a small town that was beneath his level of expertise. He did not lose his temper and blow up. Instead, he got a good lawyer who easily found a pattern of all soon to retire managers for that department store had been forced to quit a year or two short of retirement. My uncle played it cool, learned about his rights, and when the company tried to force him to quit, he showed up with his lawyer and all his paperwork in order. Bottom line, the company was found in violation of a number of things which had been well documented and they had to pay through the nose. My uncle got a nice serverance package that he would not have otherwise received. Unfortunately, we now live in society where employee loyality has no bearing on employer loyality. You have to look out for yourself. Good luck.
Thanks 'taus...that's very good advice. I will surely look into it, although I suspect that my precise employment situation is quite subject to interpretation, and there's very little precedent or standards/regulation for employment by individuals as opposed to commercial entities. But it's still worth looking into.
The irony of it is that this family I work for has enough money to make me rich 1000 times over. They'd never miss it if they wanted to dismiss me and give me the full severance I'm due. It's couch change to them.
I'm really starting to think that my employment status or desirability is NOT the issue here; it's just that the wife has a bug in her bum, it's wiggling intensely, and she's directing her -itis at me. That's not OK, and she knows it. But frankly, she's not the kind of person you confront, nor am I in a position to be telling anyone in there family what they should or shouldn't or can or can't do.
So. The dilemma continues...I kinda think ednrg is right, and I shouldn't quit, and compel them to bear the brunt of severance if they really want rid of me.
On the other hand, I'm starting to think that's not what they're after...I just think they're really wealthy people who are convinced that they can do whatever the hell they want. Which, to a certain degree, is true. It's more a matter of how long I want to sit still for it.
As to ednrg's questions...there are strong pro's and con's, which adds to the difficulty of the decision.
The basic gist:
Pro's (for staying): it's a pretty killer job; great pay, incredible perq's. As zillionaires go, these people are actually not too hard to take - I have many horror stories of others' suffering that makes me realize that. And like 'taus said, all jobs come with some degree of crapola. I don't expect any other job I got would be so idealistic that there wouldn't be trade-offs involved. Also, besides the demands of my job and the well-documented difficulty in dating here, it's an amazing place to live, and quality of life (as reflected in my living environment) is pretty important to me.
Cons (for quitting): the instability of the situation has me a little unsteady and feeling not very secure. I can't get a dog, 'cuz if I leave, my odds of finding a place to live with a pet are astronomical. Also - I'm being \"micro-managed\" by them, rather than left to shoulder my responsibilities as I'm expected to. I'm also starting to feel taken for granted and not respected or valued as I was at first.
'Course, none of this is so grave that it wouldn't be overshadowed by Bridget Fonda showing up on my doorstep and sweeping me off my feet... :roll:
I recommend a book. 48 Laws of Power, by Robert Greene.
As for the rest of it... yes, you have to find your identity and a place in the world where you're satisfied. But, timing is an important factor. Consider whether a move in that direction is what you want to make, at this time. Would waiting be beneficial? You can quit at any time, right? If you get terminated, you will get a severance and be on that path anyway? Why not let the \"opponent\" make his move, and take your next one at your leisure?
Shredd, you said something along the lines of, \"they r rich, so they can do almost anything\"
I see what your saying but they cannot do \"almost anything\" to YOU personally, which includes undermining you for the fun f it etc (I really don't know the situation beyond this thread), but things like this pisss meee offff.
Stop being intimidated by these pitiful, un-humanly mother FUCKERS.
You NEED to the the source of all this mess how you feel and make sure it is understood. There is NO excuse for what your going through. Feeling the way you are feeling doesn't change a dam thing. And with that point in mind, feeling NEVER< EVER, stay around forever. Do they??? (except your drive to bang 3 celebs at once in a pool of jello .. HA!)
Do it. Is that quitting? NO .... What is going to happen to you by telling these people, instead of getting it out on this forum, exactly how you feel and that you (obviously) do not want the source of these feelings to continue. EVER.
It seems to me you haven't done this yet. IF you just keep your calm and say \"Listen cunt, go swallow a tack\" ... (In an very very very very nice way ! .....You get the idea) ... What's going to happen? Your going to get severance pay? Not too bad of a deal if you ask me. Considering, YOU SAY your going to be out of a job and homeless etc etc etc by Jan 1st .... (which is so so horrible man, I feel for you so much and I'm not liking this bad news at all! sucks to hear, but we are here to listen, if you have to get this stuff out here , I am all for it honestly .. I am ..)
Again I don't know the details of this situation, but any (ANY!!!) response you may give about not telling these people about HOW YOUR FEELING is, and definitely won't be, good enough for me. People being treated like you are being treated is the source of alot of unessacary *stuff* in this world ... in other words, things like this is what causes people to go postal. (Among other things I'm sure) ...
Anything you do, just tell whomever you have to tell; that \"You don't appreciate it.\"
I don't like to see my fellow forum member going thru such a B.S. situation. At all man.
Def. keep posting here in the meantime and seriously, play it cool and do whats in the best interest for yourself NMW I, or anyone else says.
Pro's (for staying): it's a pretty killer job; great pay, incredible perq's.
...
Cons (for quitting): ... Also - I'm being \"micro-managed\" by them, rather than left to shoulder my responsibilities as I'm expected to. I'm also starting to feel taken for granted and not respected or valued as I was at first.
I'm confused. How can it be a killer job, when it's hell? Sounds like you are married to this job, more than you you should be.
Do what Ed said, record everything...get the book Ilia has, you need some personal power & confidence in dealing with her....
When she goes off on you again, imagine her taking an enormous dump, sitting on a toilet, put that picture in your mind and it will negate her intimidating act and her hotness and allow you to confront her. Tell her she's WRONG and that you are the BEST at what you do, and that SHE is out of line and your not going to tolerate it any further, her ridiculous little opinions of you don't register in your universe any more. Be very calm and direct , with unwavering eye contact the whole time....you will either get fired (and get the severance pay & a possible lawsuit...and stop sticking up for the husband-HE allows this environment to continue) or you will have difused and diarmed her for good...this tactic worked for me many times with bosses from hell,A) first you can't be intimidated (the \"dumpage\" ) then you take away they're abilty to torment you
Once again, let me thank all you guys for tolerating me as I vent about this very non-GNX-related issue. It's really good of you all and I really appreciate the support and advice and ideas. You're a good bunch of guys.
That said - Iliace, when do you find the time to read all these books?!?
First off - I think Iliace is right...while it puts me in the position of continuing to tolerate occasional meltdowns by the wife, on balance it's a pretty good gig and I think it's better to let them make the moves for right now. I don't think they will - they'll \"let\" me stay and do for them as long as I'm willing - and of course I could leave any time I chose.
The weird thing is - if I called them both out, or even jsut him, and gave him the score, it would break the \"stalemate\" - they'd either kick me to the curb (probably the same day), or tell me \"it's my choice\", meaning go ahead and quit, nothing's going to change.
Yoch'man is also right. There's no need to put up with this BS, even as occasional as it is. I've tolerated her (thankfully) occasional meltdowns as an ocupational hazerd. And if just once someone said to her \"that's NOT very nice...\", maybe she'd get the point. Or have her husband fire me, one or the other. She is MOST definitely the pants-wearer in the family and unless a problem involves his needs or wishes directly, he doesn't get involved.
ednrg is also not so far off the money...when I do the \"pro's and con's\" thing, I have to weigh out the upsides with the downsides. Ye who has the perfectly unflawed job, throw the first stone. While I do in fact have to make some sacrifices and deal with some BS, there's some pretty substantial upside to this job.
Where he hits on the money is the fact that this job is a dominating presence in my life, not the kind of job you leave behind at 5PM. There's a great deal that I'm responsible for, and that's why I get the big bux.
The only one who didn't quite nail it is cobalt...as good as his advice is - and pretty spot-on - this course of action isn't going to fly in my circumstance. This is a woman who is very used to getting her way and never being told \"no\", and you can bet your last unbroken E string that I'm not going to be the one who changes that.
We're sort of \"partners\" in this circus...they do what they do 'cuz they can, I stay here 'cuz I'm apparently willing to put up with a certain amount of BS in order to have what is otherwise a pretty tasty gig.
So I CAN decide to bail, anytime I want...but it would involve substantial sacrifices and major life-altering changes in my situation. I'm not sure I'm prepared for that to happen, just right now, and at my advanced age :roll: I'm not really into massive life upheavals.
Maybe if I were as young as 'hoot, or even Iliace, I'd say \"whatthehell\" and just jump, and figure it out after. But I'm not. :evil:
Annnnyway...thanks again guys. Getting this stuff out halps me a lot.
OK, next rant. I can't help it, this JUST happened and my beans are a little steamed.
I was going to dog-sit my friend's dog this weekend, maybe 4-5 days altogether. This is actually a great thing for me 'cuz this dog is the greatest dog in the world, I adore him and he's great company. I've had him here before, when the family's away; their dog knows this dog and they play together.
SO...my friend is going out of town and of course I offered to have the dog over for a few days. When I mentioned it to the Mrs., she was NOT agreeable to it. She also told me in NO uncertain terms that my wish to have my own dog was out of the question (I'd mentioned that to her daughter recently).
The way she said it is what has me steamed. It wasn't even like it had anything to do with me...her basic position was \"my dog is the only dog I want to have here on the estate\". Never mind that the dog I was gonna dog-sit is the best dog in the world, and HER dog is a rabid ferret by comparison.
That's just the way she wants it. And that's what she gets.
I may be hot under the collar at the moment, but now I REALLY want to quit. :evil: :evil: :evil:
After reading this ... I'm thinking of a scene on a movie we all saw ... and it's basically kind of what I want my advice for you to achieve ...
Remeber in the Doors movie (Val Kilmer), where the band is in some high class place interview and all these peopl are plugging Jim about being on drugs and being this or that, and basically being like \"\"ewwww uhhhh Oh myyy gawwwwwd!\" .... And that black haired lady asks him something kind of insulting (I can't remeber exactly what she asks .. ) and Jim just simply says back to her
\"Do you hurt?\"
(I reallllyy hope you've seen this movie or I'm going to sound like a jack ass)
But that's a metaphor what something you can do. Jim didn't insult back he just kind of, reminded the antagonist of the situation that NMW, we all bleed the same blood.
Just something I thought of. If I was in your situation (and trust me man, I KNOW how you feel, I feel that way about certain things all the time), I'd probably be thinking about slashing tires and poisoning coffee ... LOL ... don't let me saying that make you think I'm a complete moron cuz I would never want to hurt anybody, NMW, ... BUT, I am just one of those people that have absolutly NO understanding of people that treat other people this way. I don't understand it, and I wouldnt even have to think about NOT doing it cuz, I wouldn't treat people that way. I don't come from that type of background. Therefore, when it DOES happen, (which it does) , I tend to be reallly really reallyyy defensive (or offensive?) in the situation.
The point I'm trying to make by that last paragraph is that you are not alone and I have complete empathy for you and everyone.
Which brings me back around to the point I made up top. What Jim accomplished in that situation was awesome. And I kind of took a tip from him.
Good call. I'd REALLY like to turn this around on her, so she could see what it is she's dishing...but - sadly - she is TOTally in the power position and has no inclination or motivation to consider anyone else.
I just don't think they care much about how I feel about things, as long as I'm willing to put up with it all and do my job.
That alone would be fine - it really is a great job, and gives me a chance to provide for myself and my future (no inheritances coming my way... ).
But - as several of you have perceived - even though it's a great gig, I'm not feeling not so good about it. And I don't want that, I don't want to feel that way about myself, and I don't want them to feel like treating someone like this is OK. I really feel like I should go before it gets really ugly.
I just don't have a plan in place to move on to, and that's got me nervous too. I'm not young enough to fly blind. :oops:
So...much as I want to stay and have it work, it looks less and less like it's going to. It's a very difficult step for me to decide that the end here is near and start formulating my next plan, but I dam well better do it, or I'm going to be high n dry... :shock:
Hang in there man! This may sound blond but, when you know its time to go...it's time to go. I completely understand what your going through, and you have to look out for number one, first and foremost, period.
Secondly, nothing is more attractive to women than confidence. Have confidence in yourself. Have confidence in your ability to not just to barely make it through the life change, but to adapt well and fluorish through this thing. Not only will your circumstances improve and your overall happiness as well, but you'll probably get more of what you want from the ladies, too. So hold your head up high, make a plan, and execute.
Talk about being an old bird...I have a reaaly cool old Scotsman (70) for a neighbor. Married for 50 years, retired and happy. Well his wife snuck out of bed for her daily midnite smoke and died on the kitchen floor before she could step out of the opened door in front of her. Two years go by, and what is he doing, is he in a home? Dead? Nope... he brings his new 65 year old girlfriend he met at the legion, to our block party .
You can make it through anything if you really want to. Be thankful that change wasn't thrust upon you as quickly as it was the old Scot.
If it is possible, try to remedy the situation from within yourself if your going to stay. Just think nothing she does or says to you matters, you have your place and security .... kind of like that old saying \"Sticks and stones .. \"
The thing I am going for honestly,is to have you stay but somehow have this person back the f off of you. Even just a little.
If you can't take my advice about standing up to her, at least do the \"image\" thing whenever you are looking at her...I do this with my boss-whenever I see him, I imagine he has ummm...\"genatalia\" instead of a nose & mouth....then all I can think to myself while he's blabbing on & on with his inane drivel....\"Wow, what a complete \"F-Face\" this guy is...
If you can't take my advice about standing up to her, at least do the \"image\" thing whenever you are looking at her...I do this with my boss-whenever I see him, I imagine he has ummm...\"genatalia\" instead of a nose & mouth....then all I can think to myself while he's blabbing on & on with his inane drivel....\"Wow, what a complete \"F-Face\" this guy is...
Love it. \"If it works, DO IT!\". But this is one ornery lady who does NOT like being told no and has a long history of being indulged. I'm in no position to stand up to her or set her straight...it's \"her way or the highway\". :evil:
And please change your avatar, as much as I like 2112- naked \"man a$$\" as an avatar just doesn't cut it
(who is John Galt?)
Raises your hackles, does it? Think how I feel...I haven't seen a live woman's bu++ in moons, yet I endure my hockey team's locker room three times a week. :shock: :shock:
As far as my avatar - I'll be changing it as soon as I don't feel like that guy anymore.
PS I know who John Galt is... 8)
Shedd, I know who John Galt is. I read Atlas Shrugged last month. Hey let's take all the great minds and doers, move to a remote valley in Colorado, cover it with some obscure energy field, set up a utopian, capitalistic society, and let the rest of the world fall apart. Then just as the world is ready to fall apart, John Galt's plan for redemption is released. But will the railroad bridge be re-built with Frank Reardon's new mystery metal.
Will Dagny and Frank make their relationship legal?
Works for me...as long as I can bring a babe for myself to keep busy with. 8)
PS my boss's wife definitely can't stand me. Another tense day today. I described my situation to a female friend lately, and when she asked me what I thought about the wife's behavior, I told her it wouldn't be polite for me to speak to a woman what I had in mind for her. :shock:
Meanwhile, the husband sits back and says nothing. This woman really has everyone here by the 8alls. :evil: Glad I'M not married to her!!!
Comments
The sense I get is that I can keep this job as long as I'm willing to put up with the crapola it comes with. That's the real issue...I sat down the other night once I'd cooled a bit and wrote out some pro's and con's about leaving or staying...surprisingly, it's pretty even. :shock:
So I might still jump ship at years' end, though I'd MUCH rather they fired me. BIG severance compensation. I guess I'll just haveta see how it goes.
But I sure want a dog. Trust me, this is relevant.
So...unless one of you guys can get me a job as Jenn's swimsuit consultant, I'm on the fence here... :?
Every job has \"crapola\" that comes with it. However, there are standards of conduct in the way employers must treat their employees. If you feel they are crossing that line in order to force you to quit, I would suggest going to your local employment service center and talking to a counselor about your specific circumstances. In Minnesota, where I live, there are employee rights and responsibilities which are defined in writing. If your employer is crossing the line in your state, you may have rights you are not aware of at present. It's best to know where you stand BEFORE you quit or are fired. Also, you need to give yourself time to document any violations of your rights.
My uncle worked for a large department store chain for 20+ years. A few years from retirement, they decided to try to force him out by giving him his first ever poor annual evaluation and a transfer to a small town that was beneath his level of expertise. He did not lose his temper and blow up. Instead, he got a good lawyer who easily found a pattern of all soon to retire managers for that department store had been forced to quit a year or two short of retirement. My uncle played it cool, learned about his rights, and when the company tried to force him to quit, he showed up with his lawyer and all his paperwork in order. Bottom line, the company was found in violation of a number of things which had been well documented and they had to pay through the nose. My uncle got a nice serverance package that he would not have otherwise received. Unfortunately, we now live in society where employee loyality has no bearing on employer loyality. You have to look out for yourself. Good luck.
The irony of it is that this family I work for has enough money to make me rich 1000 times over. They'd never miss it if they wanted to dismiss me and give me the full severance I'm due. It's couch change to them.
I'm really starting to think that my employment status or desirability is NOT the issue here; it's just that the wife has a bug in her bum, it's wiggling intensely, and she's directing her -itis at me. That's not OK, and she knows it. But frankly, she's not the kind of person you confront, nor am I in a position to be telling anyone in there family what they should or shouldn't or can or can't do.
So. The dilemma continues...I kinda think ednrg is right, and I shouldn't quit, and compel them to bear the brunt of severance if they really want rid of me.
On the other hand, I'm starting to think that's not what they're after...I just think they're really wealthy people who are convinced that they can do whatever the hell they want. Which, to a certain degree, is true. It's more a matter of how long I want to sit still for it.
As to ednrg's questions...there are strong pro's and con's, which adds to the difficulty of the decision.
The basic gist:
Pro's (for staying): it's a pretty killer job; great pay, incredible perq's. As zillionaires go, these people are actually not too hard to take - I have many horror stories of others' suffering that makes me realize that. And like 'taus said, all jobs come with some degree of crapola. I don't expect any other job I got would be so idealistic that there wouldn't be trade-offs involved. Also, besides the demands of my job and the well-documented difficulty in dating here, it's an amazing place to live, and quality of life (as reflected in my living environment) is pretty important to me.
Cons (for quitting): the instability of the situation has me a little unsteady and feeling not very secure. I can't get a dog, 'cuz if I leave, my odds of finding a place to live with a pet are astronomical. Also - I'm being \"micro-managed\" by them, rather than left to shoulder my responsibilities as I'm expected to. I'm also starting to feel taken for granted and not respected or valued as I was at first.
'Course, none of this is so grave that it wouldn't be overshadowed by Bridget Fonda showing up on my doorstep and sweeping me off my feet... :roll:
As for the rest of it... yes, you have to find your identity and a place in the world where you're satisfied. But, timing is an important factor. Consider whether a move in that direction is what you want to make, at this time. Would waiting be beneficial? You can quit at any time, right? If you get terminated, you will get a severance and be on that path anyway? Why not let the \"opponent\" make his move, and take your next one at your leisure?
I see what your saying but they cannot do \"almost anything\" to YOU personally, which includes undermining you for the fun f it etc (I really don't know the situation beyond this thread), but things like this pisss meee offff.
Stop being intimidated by these pitiful, un-humanly mother FUCKERS.
You NEED to the the source of all this mess how you feel and make sure it is understood. There is NO excuse for what your going through. Feeling the way you are feeling doesn't change a dam thing. And with that point in mind, feeling NEVER< EVER, stay around forever. Do they??? (except your drive to bang 3 celebs at once in a pool of jello .. HA!)
Do it. Is that quitting? NO .... What is going to happen to you by telling these people, instead of getting it out on this forum, exactly how you feel and that you (obviously) do not want the source of these feelings to continue. EVER.
It seems to me you haven't done this yet. IF you just keep your calm and say \"Listen cunt, go swallow a tack\" ... (In an very very very very nice way ! .....You get the idea) ... What's going to happen? Your going to get severance pay? Not too bad of a deal if you ask me. Considering, YOU SAY your going to be out of a job and homeless etc etc etc by Jan 1st .... (which is so so horrible man, I feel for you so much and I'm not liking this bad news at all! sucks to hear, but we are here to listen, if you have to get this stuff out here , I am all for it honestly .. I am ..)
Again I don't know the details of this situation, but any (ANY!!!) response you may give about not telling these people about HOW YOUR FEELING is, and definitely won't be, good enough for me. People being treated like you are being treated is the source of alot of unessacary *stuff* in this world ... in other words, things like this is what causes people to go postal. (Among other things I'm sure) ...
Anything you do, just tell whomever you have to tell; that \"You don't appreciate it.\"
I don't like to see my fellow forum member going thru such a B.S. situation. At all man.
Def. keep posting here in the meantime and seriously, play it cool and do whats in the best interest for yourself NMW I, or anyone else says.
I'm confused. How can it be a killer job, when it's hell? Sounds like you are married to this job, more than you you should be.
When she goes off on you again, imagine her taking an enormous dump, sitting on a toilet, put that picture in your mind and it will negate her intimidating act and her hotness and allow you to confront her. Tell her she's WRONG and that you are the BEST at what you do, and that SHE is out of line and your not going to tolerate it any further, her ridiculous little opinions of you don't register in your universe any more. Be very calm and direct , with unwavering eye contact the whole time....you will either get fired (and get the severance pay & a possible lawsuit...and stop sticking up for the husband-HE allows this environment to continue) or you will have difused and diarmed her for good...this tactic worked for me many times with bosses from hell,A) first you can't be intimidated (the \"dumpage\"
That said - Iliace, when do you find the time to read all these books?!?
First off - I think Iliace is right...while it puts me in the position of continuing to tolerate occasional meltdowns by the wife, on balance it's a pretty good gig and I think it's better to let them make the moves for right now. I don't think they will - they'll \"let\" me stay and do for them as long as I'm willing - and of course I could leave any time I chose.
The weird thing is - if I called them both out, or even jsut him, and gave him the score, it would break the \"stalemate\" - they'd either kick me to the curb (probably the same day), or tell me \"it's my choice\", meaning go ahead and quit, nothing's going to change.
Yoch'man is also right. There's no need to put up with this BS, even as occasional as it is. I've tolerated her (thankfully) occasional meltdowns as an ocupational hazerd. And if just once someone said to her \"that's NOT very nice...\", maybe she'd get the point. Or have her husband fire me, one or the other. She is MOST definitely the pants-wearer in the family and unless a problem involves his needs or wishes directly, he doesn't get involved.
ednrg is also not so far off the money...when I do the \"pro's and con's\" thing, I have to weigh out the upsides with the downsides. Ye who has the perfectly unflawed job, throw the first stone. While I do in fact have to make some sacrifices and deal with some BS, there's some pretty substantial upside to this job.
Where he hits on the money is the fact that this job is a dominating presence in my life, not the kind of job you leave behind at 5PM. There's a great deal that I'm responsible for, and that's why I get the big bux.
The only one who didn't quite nail it is cobalt...as good as his advice is - and pretty spot-on - this course of action isn't going to fly in my circumstance. This is a woman who is very used to getting her way and never being told \"no\", and you can bet your last unbroken E string that I'm not going to be the one who changes that.
We're sort of \"partners\" in this circus...they do what they do 'cuz they can, I stay here 'cuz I'm apparently willing to put up with a certain amount of BS in order to have what is otherwise a pretty tasty gig.
So I CAN decide to bail, anytime I want...but it would involve substantial sacrifices and major life-altering changes in my situation. I'm not sure I'm prepared for that to happen, just right now, and at my advanced age :roll: I'm not really into massive life upheavals.
Maybe if I were as young as 'hoot, or even Iliace, I'd say \"whatthehell\" and just jump, and figure it out after. But I'm not. :evil:
Annnnyway...thanks again guys. Getting this stuff out halps me a lot.
I was going to dog-sit my friend's dog this weekend, maybe 4-5 days altogether. This is actually a great thing for me 'cuz this dog is the greatest dog in the world, I adore him and he's great company. I've had him here before, when the family's away; their dog knows this dog and they play together.
SO...my friend is going out of town and of course I offered to have the dog over for a few days. When I mentioned it to the Mrs., she was NOT agreeable to it. She also told me in NO uncertain terms that my wish to have my own dog was out of the question (I'd mentioned that to her daughter recently).
The way she said it is what has me steamed. It wasn't even like it had anything to do with me...her basic position was \"my dog is the only dog I want to have here on the estate\". Never mind that the dog I was gonna dog-sit is the best dog in the world, and HER dog is a rabid ferret by comparison.
That's just the way she wants it. And that's what she gets.
I may be hot under the collar at the moment, but now I REALLY want to quit. :evil: :evil: :evil:
Remeber in the Doors movie (Val Kilmer), where the band is in some high class place interview and all these peopl are plugging Jim about being on drugs and being this or that, and basically being like \"\"ewwww uhhhh Oh myyy gawwwwwd!\" .... And that black haired lady asks him something kind of insulting (I can't remeber exactly what she asks .. ) and Jim just simply says back to her
\"Do you hurt?\"
(I reallllyy hope you've seen this movie or I'm going to sound like a jack ass)
But that's a metaphor what something you can do. Jim didn't insult back he just kind of, reminded the antagonist of the situation that NMW, we all bleed the same blood.
Just something I thought of. If I was in your situation (and trust me man, I KNOW how you feel, I feel that way about certain things all the time), I'd probably be thinking about slashing tires and poisoning coffee ... LOL ... don't let me saying that make you think I'm a complete moron cuz I would never want to hurt anybody, NMW, ... BUT, I am just one of those people that have absolutly NO understanding of people that treat other people this way. I don't understand it, and I wouldnt even have to think about NOT doing it cuz, I wouldn't treat people that way. I don't come from that type of background. Therefore, when it DOES happen, (which it does) , I tend to be reallly really reallyyy defensive (or offensive?) in the situation.
The point I'm trying to make by that last paragraph is that you are not alone and I have complete empathy for you and everyone.
Which brings me back around to the point I made up top. What Jim accomplished in that situation was awesome. And I kind of took a tip from him.
I just don't think they care much about how I feel about things, as long as I'm willing to put up with it all and do my job.
That alone would be fine - it really is a great job, and gives me a chance to provide for myself and my future (no inheritances coming my way...
But - as several of you have perceived - even though it's a great gig, I'm not feeling not so good about it. And I don't want that, I don't want to feel that way about myself, and I don't want them to feel like treating someone like this is OK. I really feel like I should go before it gets really ugly.
I just don't have a plan in place to move on to, and that's got me nervous too. I'm not young enough to fly blind. :oops:
So...much as I want to stay and have it work, it looks less and less like it's going to. It's a very difficult step for me to decide that the end here is near and start formulating my next plan, but I dam well better do it, or I'm going to be high n dry... :shock:
Hang in there man! This may sound blond but, when you know its time to go...it's time to go. I completely understand what your going through, and you have to look out for number one, first and foremost, period.
Secondly, nothing is more attractive to women than confidence. Have confidence in yourself. Have confidence in your ability to not just to barely make it through the life change, but to adapt well and fluorish through this thing. Not only will your circumstances improve and your overall happiness as well, but you'll probably get more of what you want from the ladies, too. So hold your head up high, make a plan, and execute.
Talk about being an old bird...I have a reaaly cool old Scotsman (70) for a neighbor. Married for 50 years, retired and happy. Well his wife snuck out of bed for her daily midnite smoke and died on the kitchen floor before she could step out of the opened door in front of her. Two years go by, and what is he doing, is he in a home? Dead? Nope... he brings his new 65 year old girlfriend he met at the legion, to our block party
You can make it through anything if you really want to. Be thankful that change wasn't thrust upon you as quickly as it was the old Scot.
Peace,
Dobb.
If it is possible, try to remedy the situation from within yourself if your going to stay. Just think nothing she does or says to you matters, you have your place and security .... kind of like that old saying \"Sticks and stones .. \"
The thing I am going for honestly,is to have you stay but somehow have this person back the f off of you. Even just a little.
(who is John Galt?)
As far as my avatar - I'll be changing it as soon as I don't feel like that guy anymore.
PS I know who John Galt is... 8)
[MASH reference] He's the guy that shot John Wilkes Booth [/MASH reference]
Actually, I was thinking of the guy in \"Atlas Shrugged\"... :oops:
Will Dagny and Frank make their relationship legal?
Inquring minds want to know
peace
Works for me...as long as I can bring a babe for myself to keep busy with. 8)
PS my boss's wife definitely can't stand me. Another tense day today. I described my situation to a female friend lately, and when she asked me what I thought about the wife's behavior, I told her it wouldn't be polite for me to speak to a woman what I had in mind for her. :shock:
Meanwhile, the husband sits back and says nothing. This woman really has everyone here by the 8alls. :evil: Glad I'M not married to her!!!