Gut-kicked
Sigh...
We all have hard times where things just don't go right. And we do our best to make it through to better times.
But some days, it just seems like the world wants to kick the sheet out of you and see how you manage.
I'm feeling like that right now.
Today I had a long talk with the breeder I got my pup from. The bottom line is: she thinks I should give up my boy. She says that the behaviors and issues I've described to her tell her that the puppy isn't happy. She says she can even see it in the pictures I send her. And, despite my love for the dog and my every good intention, that my life situation is stressful for the dog at a time when he can least deal with it.
She's recommended I return him to her, or to a re-home she's located.
It'd be easy for me to be selfish, to keep my boy, and do my best to give him an environment he could thrive in and deal with. But the fact is, he's absorbing a lot of the stress that comes with my currently difficult situation in life, and it's bad for him, and could screw him up permanently, so I have to think about what's best for the dog, and that means giving him up.
I don't have to tell you how much this is breaking me up. I got this boy at 10 weeks, went through everything it takes to get a puppy started well, and have invested much in him, not just financially but personally and emotionally. I'm really attached to him.
But...I have to do what is best for him, and by an expert's measure (the breeder, who has 18 years experience with Berners), he should be in a better home.
I feel like those people who lose all their kids in a car wreck, or find out they have some grave illness and their life will never be the same. I'm crushed.
There better be some songs in this, so that when I have my git'rs and studio set up somewhere, I have an outlet... :evil:
We all have hard times where things just don't go right. And we do our best to make it through to better times.
But some days, it just seems like the world wants to kick the sheet out of you and see how you manage.
I'm feeling like that right now.
Today I had a long talk with the breeder I got my pup from. The bottom line is: she thinks I should give up my boy. She says that the behaviors and issues I've described to her tell her that the puppy isn't happy. She says she can even see it in the pictures I send her. And, despite my love for the dog and my every good intention, that my life situation is stressful for the dog at a time when he can least deal with it.
She's recommended I return him to her, or to a re-home she's located.
It'd be easy for me to be selfish, to keep my boy, and do my best to give him an environment he could thrive in and deal with. But the fact is, he's absorbing a lot of the stress that comes with my currently difficult situation in life, and it's bad for him, and could screw him up permanently, so I have to think about what's best for the dog, and that means giving him up.
I don't have to tell you how much this is breaking me up. I got this boy at 10 weeks, went through everything it takes to get a puppy started well, and have invested much in him, not just financially but personally and emotionally. I'm really attached to him.
But...I have to do what is best for him, and by an expert's measure (the breeder, who has 18 years experience with Berners), he should be in a better home.
I feel like those people who lose all their kids in a car wreck, or find out they have some grave illness and their life will never be the same. I'm crushed.
There better be some songs in this, so that when I have my git'rs and studio set up somewhere, I have an outlet... :evil:
Comments
I know what it feels to part ways with a K9 companion, even when almost 30 years passed from that day, when I think about him, tears come to my eyes.
Tough decision indeed, but all isn't enough for this lovely creatures.
May God give you the strength to withstand this hard times and could you soon recover.
I'll be praying for you.
I don't know if living and experiencing so much life with an animal, makes it tougher, or easier than living and loving less time. I think it's just as tough, but in my case I have those wonderful memories!
I'll be riding \"Tucson\" again in my dreams tonight. Thanks for that, and my heart goes out to you.
And, as you can imagine, I know just how you feel. I'm trying to get OK with letting my little boy go, and it puts pain in my heart that I can barely stand. Today I had some of his toys in my hands and just burst out crying. And I don't know that it'll ever go away; I'll only have the memories, the pictures, etc...
I've had a lot of people telling me things like no way should I give up my dog. But in the end, I had to decide which was more important - my wanting my dog, and what life will be like for him if he stays.
With my life being the mess it is right now, it'll take some time to sort things out and get on a roll again. While I'd love to have my sweet pup with me until that happens, I've been told that he can't handle it and it'll affect him long-term, even permanently. I can't live with that.
So...even if things are fine a year or two or five from now, my pup would be pretty screwed up from having to go through the process at this age. Not fair to him, and not good for me.
So I'm giving him up. It's devastating, but I guess it's the right thing to do...
Dogs create a relationship between their master and their surroundings. It happened with one of my dogs once and he became sort of stressed until he got familiar with the new home.
I know, your situation is difficult right now and you have plenty of reasons to be stressed too, but, believe me, dogs understand more than we could imagine, and they adapt themselves to the situation, and in these cases, you'll never get a better company than a K9 that is always there for you, showing his love and cheering you up.
I don't know, perhaps you should give him and yourself a little more time and ask another opinion from a pro before take a so hard decision.
Believe me, every time I check this thread out, my heart aches with your situation and brings back the memory of my good old Thor.
Take care pal!
Do you know an alternative medicine treatment called Bach's Remedy?, or Bach's flowers?
It is a very effective treatment for different kinds of human stress and anxiety, it's natural, taken from flowers essences and believe me, it works.
One of my sisters-in-law is an expert on that treatment and on a couple occasions she treated her dog and one of mine from stress with such therapy with superb results.
Needless to say that I have taken it several times.
I've seen on TV that veterinarians in the US are implementing this treatment for stressed dogs in situations like yours.
Shredd, don´t give up so soon! there's hope out there !!
NEVER give up on an animal who has become part of the family. They have emotions and those emotions are on a pendulum just like humans. He'll grow out of it.
You took on the responsibility, you committed to taking care of this dog for the rest of it's life. Buck up and do it. Don't give up your friend just because a BREEDER says you should. Work through the difficult times together and the bond between you and your pup will be even stronger.
I speak from experience on this one. We almost gave up on a dog once. Damn glad we didn't. He became one of the most wonderful animals I've ever known.
Just my $.02.
Regardless of the fact that I'm seriously peesing off several people who think I should surrender the dog.
Regardless of the fact that I don't have any answers - yet - for his issues, like the timid thing or his digestive stuff.
I just feel like he's my little pal, and he's spent every day of his life since I got him with me, and we're very attached. I've asked these people to give me any bit of evidence whatsoever that the dog is messed up or will be. None of them have done it.
So...despite incurring the fury of several people, I've decided I won't give him up.
I should also mention that the breeder didn't stand to make any money on this...
You've taken the right decision man!!
You'll never regret having kept that wonderful friend, and together you're going to withstand these hard times as one.
Shredd: You're the man !!! God bless you.
Hopefully, you will find out what's ailing him, and it could be something physical more than emotional, but regardless, I feel he will flourish with you as much as he could with anyone!
Maybe the neighbors cat is a dayum bully.
Maybe he doesn't like you sleeping with him, and is worried your queer.
Maybe you drive too fast and he's sick of the butt blisters.
aie oont no! hood eee ehnythingg eh?
buat aie'm sure ooo ill igger et out.
Anyway, I gotta tell you, I've moved out of the bush in front of Anne's mansion. I musta fell asleep, and she heard me snoring. She was in her tight skimpy jogging outfit, and threw some stones at the bush to wake me, and yelled out...\"Shredd?...Shreddie-poo....is that you darlin' ?\"
I stood up,
...and she said..\"oh yer not him.\"
I said .. \"I am 'tou.\"
She said...\"no yer not\" (rolled her eyes) ... and trotted off.
I give up man.
Sorry about Anne giving you the bizniz. I guess I shoulda woarned you that she adores me and all other men pale in comparison. :roll:
I'm glad to have my little pup...I adore him and we're very attached to each other.
His name is Hagen (HAH-gen). I named him after the big German guy who is Maximus' friend in \"Gladiator\"; they sort of remind me of each other: big, strong, loyal friend...
:oops:
I feel your pain old man, for i find myself in a similar situation as of today. My wife called me at work to inform me that we have to be out of our house by the end of July. We rent from my wife's uncle, and he needs to move back in because of circumstances out of his control. So we need to relocate. He was giving us a real break on the rent, and it was a godsend with my wife being unemployed and our unemployed daughter moving back in with us. So in this present economy we will likely end up in an apartment, rent for houses is too far out of our reach at the present time. Then enters my Marley. He is a 90 lb american bulldog with a gimp leg that we rescued from the local humane scociety. He fell from the back of a moving pickup when he was a pup, broke his front leg, and his owner at the time did not take him in to have the leg set, so he now walks on three legs. He gets around fine, but if I ever find out who did this to him...
We all love him very much and he is a member of our family and there is no way we are giving him up no matter what it takes.
So I think you made the right choice, you keep your dog and to hell with the naysayers, for your dog is the only one you can truly rely on. Your dog never lets you down.
I don't care if I end up living in a tent, Marley will be there too. You stick to your guns Shred, times will get better for all of us, and our dogs will be there with us to enjoy them when they finally turn around.
So...my pup is staying with me.
This, despite the fact that there's now several people just furious with me. Sad, but that's life I guess...both the breeder, and a friend of over ten years, are both never going to speak to me again.
Anyway...I'm tremendously pained to hear of your trials, 'peat. It's tragic to constantly hear about decent people's lives being tangled by this stupid economic meltdown.
But it's great to hear that your family and your pup are with you and in it together. That has to feel good. Meself, I'm feeling pretty out in the cold, as one of the people who'll never speak to me again is an old dear friend of nearly 12 years, and it's not like I'm filthy with near n dear.
in my music room and listen to me play. And you could say by alot of his pictures that he wasn't happy, but that was just his nature. He was a worry wart and didn't like changes in his reality much. Not all dogs carry the happy go lucky face all the time although I have many pictures that are of one highly proud canine. Looks like he would make a great agility dog. Just love him, He'll be okay. He certainly doesn't look unhappy to me.
OH - MY - GAWD, I just got the most scorching furious angry venemous vicious email ever, from the ex-g/f who wanted me to take her dog.
Bear in mind this is a woman I was with for nearly 5 years and have been friends with for 12, including after we broke up.
About 2% of it referenced my dog and how I made a bad decision to keep him and I was selfish and stupid for ignoring her, and the breeders', advice (and instead taking the advice of dozens of other dog experts, not to mention the opinions of dog-loving people like y'all)...most of it was her venting about my faults and what's wrong with me and why she won't be my friend anymore. Clearly this has been stewing for a long time, and this dog episode has blown the roof off of all this.
I guess I'd have to cop to some of her criticisms having a basis in fact; but boy, I can't remember when I've ever been lambasted like this. Holy cow. :shock:
Annnnyway...the actual reason we broke up was her having substance problems and it affecting her ability to function in a relationship. Best thing, really...
We had a year or so of hostility, then chilled out and became friends. That was about '03. Since then, we'd been civil, decent friends.
But it seems that over the years she'd developed a lower opinion of me, and this dog episode has pushed her over the edge and she's \"done with me\".
So, she's off into her own life - new home, new husband, etc.
It doesn't help that she's had some life troubles lately: her long-ago ex-husband died, the dog killing her chickens, which she was really into; a close friend of hers is terminally ill; then on D-Day, her beloved dad died at 88. So she's probably not quite right lately.
Not that any of this justifies her insane actions. Obviously, her opinion of me has steadily eroded over time and this was the episode that opened the floodgates.
Now, I don't claim to be a perfect person, no flaws or failings or faults. But I surely don't think I'm as heinous a person as she makes me out to be.
I do think she had/has an agenda and when I didn't help her play it out it angered her and she felt like she could unload with what she really thinks of me.
If I was married to her, I'd probably kill myself. :? Can you guys see now why I don't drop my standards and latch onto any chicky that comes down the pike? \"Seeking quality woman that likes me. Tell your wife's friends.\"
But non of that justifys treating someone wrongly. I could give you a whole laundry list of things that have happened to me since last August
that really jerked my chain and I had no control over and were caused by other peoples actions. But that doesn't give me the right to dump it on anyone else. Has any of this caused me to lash out, yes briefly and I caught myself and fully appologized for it on two occasions. But a key phrase here is A: She's done with me and B: She's off into her own Life.
Be off into your own life and the weight on your shoulders will likely ease up. You obviously in the end have to make that call. Wish the best brother.
:roll:
Can't live with 'em...
Can't kill 'em. :?
Who was the one with the great quote \"the trouble with women is they have all the p*$$y\"?
Oh lawd...send me a woman with the body of Scarlet Johansen, the beauty of Anne Hathaway, and the hip of Helen Hunt. :roll:
As far as the battle of the sexes, another over simplistic observation forthcoming....'They' do not, can not, will not understand that manhood is simply an addition to boyhood, not a rearranging, all encompassing changeover and transition.
As far as your buds go....can't advise ya, but my response would probably be the Chuckling Bird ( snicker and the finger ), then a ham sandwich, movie and a nap. Are these guys ?? If they are, get 'em some Midol...
There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works. :?
Just imagine your female friends, if you lived in N.Michigan...
they are like a refrigerator, 6 feet tall, 350 pounds...and they make allot of ice.
Being a transplant Yooper for 14 years I can well verify the existence of such creatures north of the bridge as well.....but they make the best pasties, are stealthy on the hunt, are quite a sight doing the Heikki Lunta, and always bring home a few extra bucks from the Lumberjack competitions..!