Johnny Jaded \"say something funny\"
Sorry mate i don't have much to offer in terms of funny. That Andy Rooney guy is a real hack though! He can talk about anything and make it funny. I have a request for Andy Rooney's next curmudgeony introspective and that would be having him ask the question....
What the hell is the fascination with \"Furries\"? What do these characters represent and what do they say about the people who draw, collect, trade and dress up like them? Will we see them on the cover of Time magazine someday? Maybe our bus driver will be dressed as a furry? Why are some furries wearing diapers, why do some look like real people who have just grown a thin layer of fur and a tail?
Would i do well to grow a tail and a layer of fur? The tail wouldn't do much for me other than get in the way and become a nuisense knocking over my papers and two day old coffee on my desk. Maybe the tail would make me more popular with the younger crowd? To be honest i don't know what appeals to kids these days, maybe some whiskers too?
This morning while gathering some more reasearch and browsing all my favorite furry blogs i thought to myself \"Andy\", what ever happened to the good ol days? The good ol days when i was content just babbling on about how annoying it was when the tab would break off your pudding can?
I thought about this for quite some time before noticing in the full lenghth mirror that sits beside desk that my tail had become twisted in my trousers. I turned to the mirror, stood up as straight as my old spine would let me and un-hinged said tail. I then smiled boldy into the mirror and told myself cheer up Andy, everybody loves a furry.... everbody loves a furry.
Do you think Andy would do this peice? Of course he would probably change the whole thing and make it really good as only Andy coould, but that would be okay because i would still be honerd and i could tell my family that he accepted my idea.
That would b cool. 8)
What the hell is the fascination with \"Furries\"? What do these characters represent and what do they say about the people who draw, collect, trade and dress up like them? Will we see them on the cover of Time magazine someday? Maybe our bus driver will be dressed as a furry? Why are some furries wearing diapers, why do some look like real people who have just grown a thin layer of fur and a tail?
Would i do well to grow a tail and a layer of fur? The tail wouldn't do much for me other than get in the way and become a nuisense knocking over my papers and two day old coffee on my desk. Maybe the tail would make me more popular with the younger crowd? To be honest i don't know what appeals to kids these days, maybe some whiskers too?
This morning while gathering some more reasearch and browsing all my favorite furry blogs i thought to myself \"Andy\", what ever happened to the good ol days? The good ol days when i was content just babbling on about how annoying it was when the tab would break off your pudding can?
I thought about this for quite some time before noticing in the full lenghth mirror that sits beside desk that my tail had become twisted in my trousers. I turned to the mirror, stood up as straight as my old spine would let me and un-hinged said tail. I then smiled boldy into the mirror and told myself cheer up Andy, everybody loves a furry.... everbody loves a furry.
Do you think Andy would do this peice? Of course he would probably change the whole thing and make it really good as only Andy coould, but that would be okay because i would still be honerd and i could tell my family that he accepted my idea.
That would b cool. 8)
Comments
I WANT SOME...
So funny, ha, ha? or....
It is little known fact that I am actually a furrologist or more specifically... an inter-species dermal transplant surgeon. As was my father Dr. Joeseph E. Jaded. He was a pioneer in the field. Andy being one of his best clients until his retirement in 1992 after the Danny Devito back disaster. Poor Andy must have suffered a dozen procedures performed on those eyebrows alone... don't get me started on the old man's back. It took years to transplant and cultivate those eyebroughs from just two thin little slivers of hair taken directly from a live North American Badgers back, but for Andy it was worth every minute of it.
You see... Andy is like millions of other men worldwide who suffer from male pattern eyebrough baldness or MPEB. To many of us it's just a \"thing\" otherguys get, but to those afflicted, it can be devestating. The eyebrough pencils, the spirit glue and hamster skins, the double-sided tape with carefully trimmed and arranged armpit hair. All tribulations a guy might go through while suffering with the loss of his eyebroughs.
Now... there is hope. I, Dr. John E. Jaded, son of the world reknowned furrologist have developed revolutionary new procedures that are making MPEB a thing of the past... right now as we speak. Gone are the days when inter-species organ and tissue rejection held back the process of really helping people.
Using the latest genentic technology here at Jaded Labs, we raise a genenitically altered Chinchilla specifically injected with just the right mix of your very own dna that in six to eight months a complete new facial structure will be ready for harvest from this very tasty little furry's back.
When you leave our clinic you are not just leaving with a new set of broughs. You are taken to our luxurious hotel/recovery accomodations where our nurse/chef will bring you a wonderful Chinchilla meal prepared with the same care your face was. Relax... rest... and enjoy any one of our four adult featurettes filmed right here in our very own clinic.
Still need convincing? Eyebroughs are just a phone call away.
1-976-EYEHAIR or visit my website www.animalhaironyou.com
Jaded Labs also have hair treatment procedures for:
Bald Back Syndrome
Receding Muff-Lines
Friction Induced Nipple Hair Loss (guitarist' nipples)
Ancestral and/or Culturally Historic Fur Patch Implants
Full Body Fur-Overs
So now you ask yourself yeah but doc knows of them so he must be weird also? Well yes, i am indeed a \"weirdo\" which i am quite happy to live with but alas it is for other reasons. The only real reason i know about \"Furries\" (not the furries assoiciated with the long line of medical and scientific reasearchers referred to as Jaded), is because i work with nerds. Nerds love the internet and the love to find the darkest, dankest nooks and crannies of it.
Andy, does have a marvelous set of owl horns on him. I never imagined that there was so much involved in building brow bars like that? Gives us all somthing to look forward to though.
now i need some real drugs
s'okay my train wreck, i take all responsibility.... i'm getting used to it
back to bipedal furry town
tear
Cut some double sided foam tape to the correct contour of your previous eyebrows. Apply the double sided tape to the previous position of your old eyebrows. Then ask your wife or girl friend to sit on your face.
She may get upset when she tries to get up after you tongue tires. But she will soon get over it when she sees your \"new\" look!
Remember this is a short term solution and depending on the number of times you have previously tried this, and how well shaven your loved one is... It may take multiple attempts. So it’s always a good idea to stretch your tongue before a good workout.
FWIW
KT
Will try it and get back to you with the details...
there is a special name for those kinds of brow implants. The world would be be much better off and you could redily tell how earthy your bud's girfreind really is.
I've been using the method you described for quite some time. Just want to add that some trimming is required once the \"hair transfer\" has taken place. At first the curls looked a little out of place. I mean, I didn't notice, since I was happy to have brows back, but one day at work some of my coworkers pointed out that my brows looked a tad like pubes. I have since used a beard trimmer with a #3 trim setting to shave off the worst when new brows have been \"acquired\". Works just great for those who are on a budget like KT and I and that cannot afford the luxury at the Jaded Clinic... Sorry Dr. Jaded, no one is trying to steal business from you. I am sure you will still keep your original clientelle... :?
FWIW,
T
KT
Freaky though... I'm real freaky. :twisted:
PEOPLE AT DIGITECH: G_A_Y means happy!!! Didn't you know that???
I'll bring my famous club tenderized seal-ka-bobs. :twisted:
Does anyone hunt furries? Not even for sport? :twisted:
Thanks Dave... I love you too. :P
Whales are mammals. What happened to fishfry? You need not bring seal, for I have lots from my last visit to the arctic where I hunted 31 cute baby seals with my sledgehammer...